Deaf Daisy | #1 in #americansignlanguage

12 Generous Daisy

Things fall back into their normal routine. I go back to walking myself to class, doing my work on my own, paying attention to Merinda, and taking notes for myself only. It hurts. It hurts for a week, and then it hurts for two. It hurts that he doesn't want to know me, talk to me, be seen with me. He'd rather be alone than have one single solitary person in this whole school who is on his team.

Serena notices my pain, and she becomes more sensitive; she doesn't once try to tell me like it is, but instead allows me to complain and agrees with me. I don't pretend that I'm unaffected. I work through the pain — feelings of betrayal, damaged pride, and low self worth — and I get past it.

I've never really had a boy in my life of any significance. I know that this wasn't that, not really, but it's the closest I've ever come to a typical teenage break-up. It takes several days to train myself not to check my phone for texts from him, several weeks to train my eyes not to land on him during class, several long nights not to relay our final conversation in my head and try to dissect all possible meanings.

This wasn't Edward Cullen vanishing along with all traces of his existence in New Moon, but it's not nothing.

I feel my classmates' eyes linger on me. They want to know what happened, why we're no longer speaking. They create their own version. People think you and Cannon hooked up and that you dumped him, Serena relays to me during week three.

I suppose that's better than the alternative.

After the initial heartache, I'm back to being my usual, focused self in class. Merinda notices my consistent string of As and congratulates me. Whoop-tee-freaking-doo. I never ask her how Cannon is doing. It is no longer my problem.

One Saturday in late March, Serena and I wake up early to go to the local farmer's market that pops up on the fourth Saturday of every month throughout the spring. She loves all things organic and spends too much money on jams, teas, and lip balms. I stop in my tracks when we reach the end of the lot, and I'm too late to pretend I haven't seen him. In the second to last booth sits the tall, olive-tinted white man with perfectly dark, coiffed hair who'd answered the door that day when I'd begged Cannon to come back to school. He recognizes me immediately and waves me over. Seated next to him is the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen. She wears a gray knit sweater, and her strawberry blonde hair is in a long braid. She beams at me. I leave Serena at the stand with the woman selling her niece's beaded jewelry.

"You're Daisy!" the beautiful woman says as I approach. She stands and comes around the booth, pulling me in for a hug before I can protest. I have no idea who she is and I look to the man I'm familiar with for help.

"This is my wife, Sarah," he stands and tells me.

"Cannon lives with you," I sign and mouth to them.

The man holds out a hand to me. "I'm Casey Kane."

I give Casey's hand a shake. "Uncle?" I ask.

"Older brother," he responds with an easy grin. "By fourteen years."

Sarah is still standing near me. She takes both of my hands in hers so that she has my full attention. "We are so grateful for everything you've been doing for Cannon." I can tell that she is over-enunciating her words. "He is so incredibly blessed to have a friend as generous as you."

I take my hands back awkwardly so that I can answer. "Thanks," I tell her. "But we're not really friends."

Sarah furrows her brows and pouts her lips. I'm worried how I'll go about answering her next questions, but Serena saves me. "Hi!" she says sweetly as she bounces up to us, newly purchased beaded bracelet on her arm.