Incrementum | Roman + Virgil | Prinxiety

_.|!|._: Chapter One

"Oh! It's a soft Wonderland!" He said. Patton jumped right into one of the bean bags at his feet. Virgil laughed and shrugged as he created a chest by the shelf unit, and then filled it with blankets. He turned to the couch and put pillows on it, making it more comfier than before.

"You're forgetting one thing, kiddo." Patton said. Virgil turned to him, and before he knew it, the ceiling was doused with fairy lights on the surrounding part of the ceiling, and floor lamps hid turned on in the corners of the room. Not only that, but Patton had added a stack of boardgames into one of the shelves of the unit Virgil had made. Virgil sighed, and closed the door behind them and walked over to the drawers to grab dark purple and black yearn, and a needle.

"I never knew you could sew Virg!" Patton said, Virgil threw him a blanket from the chest before getting one for himself. Patton gasped again at a different realization, one that Virgil hadn't seen yet.

"Yeah, i-it helps me calm down..." Virgil said, he plopped into the corner of the couch and curled up under the blanket. He pulled on the end of the purple yarn and started to crochet, and looked up at Patton to find him in his cat onesie.

"Well, that's fan-flippin' 'tastic! Now, what do you wanna talk about, kiddo?" he asked. Virgil sighed, focusing on the yarn in his hands. He tried to think of how to start, but everything just swarmed into the forefront of his mind.

"I don't know... for one thing I told Thomas that I used to be a dark side today..." Virgil started, drift out into the air as he continued to weave.

"Well, golly! That was big for you, huh? How did that make you feel?" Patton asked as he played with the tail of his cat onesie. Virgil shrugged once more.

"I don't know, nervous I guess." He said. Patton smiled with pride.

"Yes, but what about afterword? After Thomas knew." Patton asked.

"I... I guess I felt relieved in a weird way. Like, like I was supposed to be satisfied but instead it was just a... a better feeling that wasn't that?" Virgil asked. Patton nodded.

"I know what you mean, like David Tennant realizing that Michael Sheen's character was alive in Good Omens." Patton said. Virgil raised an eyebrow.

"Uh... no," Virgil said.

"Oh! When Michael Scott took the women of The Office to the mall to celebrate them!" Patton said. Virgil sighed.

"Yeah, sure, let's go with that." He said. Patton continued to smile.

"I just... I thought I'd feel more satisfied with the fact that I told him, you know? I mean I didn't tell him much, all he really knows is my name, my job, and who I was..." Virgil said, he bit his lip as he did so. The weaving continued in his hands, and he decided that he was going to make a scarf at that point.

"Well, maybe it's because you're still learning to trust him kiddo. You have a lot on your mind, and maybe you just need to let it all out." Patton suggested. Virgil squinted his eyes, trying to see if it was Deceit in disguise, but he couldn't sense him.

"Like, a vent?" He asked. Patton started blankly back at him, barely understanding.

"Sure! But as long as it's not the heating vents, it's summertime and I'm already toasty right here!" He said. Virgil chuckled, trust restored. Deceit wouldn't know how to make a Patton joke, because Logan did know how to make a Patton joke, and they were coordinated opposites.

"I mean... I guess I just feel like I have to live up to this expectation of an edgy, misunderstood, freak that retorts all that is said to him. I'm trying to grow in the weird from hole I'm forced to live in. I'm constantly judged by Logan, but so is everyone else, so why should I complain? The dark sides, they... haunt me all the time because of what and who I was. They want me back, and I don't want to go back. IT was a manipulative, nearly abusive type of toxicity and I hated it so much. I'm trying so hard and I just... I just want to be listened to I guess." Virgil ranted. Patton listened to every word and nodded at the end. He tried to find the right words to say.

"That's a lot on your plate, kiddo." He said. Virgil nodded and continued.

"Obviously, I don't want to hurt Thomas but I feel like even after all that I do I end up hurting him, like with Remus last night.W hurt him and I feel like that's mainly on me because I'm his fear, and I control his fear of being a bad person. If I freak out, so does he, and he doesn't deserve that again. I've put him through so much, and I-I don't want to become who I was again. I don't want to be like that anymore." Virgil said. Patton shifted in the bean bag in front of Virgil.

"Well, you aren't why you were, you've grown since then. I don't think you're cutting enough slack for yourself. You save Thomas from doing so many bad and horrible things, and not only that, you are such a better person than you were then. Almost like two different people kiddo. But I feel like that's not all that's pinching you, crab stepper." Patton said. Virgil sighed, and nodded as he looked down at his yarn again. Patton furrowed his brow and thought hard.

"Is it about a certain prince's opinion?" He asked. Virgil looked up with hope in his eyes, not the kind of hope for happiness, but understanding.

"Roman tries so hard to not offend me but I feel like every time he looks at me he's silently judging me and I don't know why. He hates me, and I hate it because..." Virgil dragged. Patton looked at him knowingly, tilting his head forward.

"Because..." He said, trying to get the answer out. Virgil shrugged.

"It's stupid. It's a stupid reason why" Virgil said.

"Now Virgil, whatever it is, it isn't stupid. Having feelings isn't stupid, you're part of a human, and heck, you probably feel more than I do sometimes kiddo, and I'm Thomas' feelings!" Patton said. Virgil sighed, shaking.

"I don't know." Virgil said.

"You don't have to say it if you don't want to. You can wait, if you'd like." Patton said. Virgil sighed and slunk back in the corner of the couch. A debate was happening in his mind, whether to say it or not, rip the bandaid or keep it there until it falls. He shrugged, and Patton patiently waited for him.

Virgil continued to sit, frozen in the corner of the couch, terrified and vulnerable. He knew he needed to say it, because Patton wouldn't be able to catch onto whatever he meant like Logan would have. But if Patton was the heart, wouldn't he be able to understand what Virgil was feeling? No, not if he didn't tell him, right? This wasn't Roman, who understood the feeling he felt in his heart more than any other side. Nor was is Remus or Deceit, who probably knew about the feelings somehow. What if they got to them? Twisted them? Hurt him even more?

These thoughts swirled through Virgil's mind so fast, most thoughts did, but these had a larger presence. Patton sat on the floor, his arms were now wrapped around his knees as he did so. He had a tug on his own emotion detector about what Virgil felt, and he continued to smile up at him as words failed to do him a justice at all.

"I think I know what's going on, kiddo." He said, finally. Virgil looked up at him and blushed this time.

"R-Really?" He asked.

"I think I do, but I don't know if I'm right or not. Whatever it is, you can say it when you're ready, okay?" He asked. Virgil's hands were shaking, and he let a smile come through onto his face.

Patton stood up and went over to his friend on the couch. He took the yarn and needle out of his lap and embraced him in a soft hug.

"I may not be the brightest of the bunch, but I know when someone needs a hug." Patton said proudly. Virgil wrapped his arms around his friend hesitantly, smiling.

"Thanks Patton." He said.

"Anytime kiddo, can I ask, what is that smell?" He asked. Virgil's mind shot to a memory that haunted him constantly, but wasn't triggered by anxiousness.

"Maybe it's remnants from the Duke." He said. Patton shrugged, and continued to hug his figurative child. Meanwhile, a stinky due wandered the halls of the light side of the palace, going to talk to his brother about something sinister.