bonfire

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it's been a few days since the whole daniel situation occurred and surprisingly he has been leaving me alone. yeah it's been awkward as fuck, but at least he's not bothering me. his ex girlfriend on the other hand, has been trying her hardest to let me know how much she hates me, which- i'm not going to lie has been pretty confronting. especially with what she's been saying to me. she constantly brings up ruel and reminds me that i'm not good enough for him- which of course i already knew.

it's now friday night and ruel's friends are having  a small bonfire at ethan's house, and for some reason i'm invited.

ruel had told them what had been going on at school and i suppose they're just doing me a favour by including me. i'm used to being excluded, and i told ruel that i really didn't mind; but he insisted that i was to be 'taken care of'. not that i really need taking care of. i've made it this far on my own haven't i?

i chuck on an oversized woollen jumper, some light blue jeans and some white sneakers. i also put on a couple of my delicate gold chain necklaces and tie my hair up into a weird looking bun. my hair has just been washed so it's light and fluffy and my fringe sits delicately on my forehead.

 my hair has just been washed so it's light and fluffy and my fringe sits delicately on my forehead

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i grab my keys as i walk out the door and yell goodbye to my family. i then jump into my car, type ethan's address into my navigation system and begin driving. ruel's song say starts playing through my car speakers and i hum along to the melody. the lyrics are actually so beautiful. how the fuck can someone so young have such a deep intuition about their emotions. 

eventually i pull up to what i can only assume is ethan's house. i walk around the side and go through his side gate which has been left open for people to enter through. emma, avery, taylor, ethan, zac, charlie, georgia and jake are sitting casually around a fire pit. 

"brynne!" taylor instantly gets up, runs over and hugs me. ruel's friends  honestly make me feel so welcome. i am so not used to this.

"hey guys!" i say. the sense of confidence i can hear in my own voice is insane. i haven't felt this relaxed in years.

"here she is!" jake laughs and gets up to give me a friendly hug after i walk over. i greet the rest of the group and eventually sit down between taylor and avery.

"hey brynne-" zac says, "do you mind coming with us boys to grab some drinks from the fridge" i look at him quizically.

"sure?" i laugh as i get up from my seat and follow the boys into the house. i look back at the girls as i walk and they look just as confused as i'm feeling.

what do they want to talk to me about? surely they don't really want my help to get drinks... that would be a bit random.

once we reach the fridge, the boys all look at each other with smirks.

"i've known ruel for almost my entire life," zac explains almost in a joke-like manner. "despite how confident he seems... sometimes he gets a little... tongue tied when talking to girls whom he likes." the boys look at each other like they know something i don't. 

"you know how ruel got so drunk the other week at the party?" charlie pipes up all of a sudden. i nod slowly. "it was because ruel thought you weren't coming"

"i knew that" i say.

"but the thing is brynne- he never drinks like that" zac laughs.

i wish we could stop talking about ruel. i have so much going on at the moment and even though i hate to say it; talking about ruel makes me miss him.

"he non-stop talks about you" ethan exclaims. "we have to physically tell him to shut the fuck up" the boys all laugh.

"he's had it rough... dating wise" zac says. "he can never really find the right person. and the poor bugger gets so emotionally invested in his relationships"

"what are you trying to say?" i ask naively.

"brynne it's so fucking obvious" jake chimes in. "he likes you so much" i look at the floor away from the persistent gaze from the 4 pairs of eyes waiting for my reaction.

"look- i've only known him for a few weeks." i say. "yeah we get along well, but i'm not emotionally ready for another relationship." it feels as if this is literally the billionth time i've had to explain myself. "i haven't had the smoothest dating life either" i say. although i lowkey feel conceited. i had never considered ruel's situation before.

"fair enough" zac says. the boys all nod, they look slightly disappointed. i don't know what they expected. i wasn't going to all of a sudden declare my undying love for a guy i met literally a few weeks ago. i understand that his friends were just trying to do the right thing by their mate, but i really can't afford to put my emotional health through the trauma again.

"i'm sorry-" i smile sadly as we walk back out to the party. the faces of the guys are painted with looks of understanding. 

despite the discomfort of the situation, their words have got me thinking. what did zac mean when he told me that ruel has had it tough dating wise? butterflies swarm my stomach as the phrases bounce around my head. i know i am choosing to follow my mind in this situation. i know that being romantically involved with someone else will only eventually end in heartbreak, won't it? i stare numbly at the fire. i look around at the group and watch taylor and ethan talking to one another with their hands intertwined. a deep desperation emerges from the depths of my soul and envelopes my chest making it feel tight. 

am i denying my feelings in an attempt to avoid being hurt?

___________________________________

oooooo is brynne having a revelation?

thank u so much for reading! just as i say every chapter; it means the entire world and more to receive so many lovely comments on each of my chapters. it honestly warms my heart.

don't forget to vote and comment, the next chapter is on it's way. 

also- add this story to your reading lists and follow my wattpad so you can be notified when i post a new chapter, i always make an announcement when i post!

again, thank u! ily

xx



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