Deltarune Oneshots

🐛 Rouxls Kaard 🐛

//-This is just pure c h o s, I'm at school and I just finished my science test and I have nothing better to do.-\\

You had found yourself, alone in a prison. How did this happen? It all started on the summer of '69 (sike.) 

You were minding your own business, then a door behind you closed. "Bruh, I think it's time to call Zak Bagans." You pulled out your phone, then some epic music started playing. "It's boss fight time!!" You yeet and pull out your weapon of choice, and epic wormy daddy blue boyo appeared. 

"AHAH! THOUST FOOL! THOU HAS FALLETH INTO MY TRAP, WORM!" A not so epic puzzle appeared before you. 

"Listen here blue Hitler, this puzzle can eat my ass." You kicked the block and solved it.

...

"GOD DAMN IT!!" The blue man screeched and faded away with a blinding light show. 

"That was fun." You left and went into the other room.  

"AHAH! THOUST FOOL! THOU HAS FALLETH INTO MY TRAP, WORM! Oh, it's you- THINE SHALL MAKETH IT TEN TIMES AS HARDETH!!" Another not so epic puzzle appeared before you. womp womp disappointment sound effect plays. 

"Bruh." You kicked the block twice and solved it. 

...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAA-" He screeched again. "FUCKETH ME!"

...

"Is that an offer~"

"Maybeth."

Bruh snatches you and puts you into a prison cell. 

"Boi if you don't-" He covers your mouth with his hand. 

"Quieth." He silenced you. "Thine shall return." He left. You got up and looked at the walls, there was moss, maybe mold. 

"Hmm.." You committed consume. "Finally, some good fucking food." You feel like something was boosted, but you didn't know what. Probably illness. You shouldn't eat mold. You sat on the ground. "Bleh-" you threw up. "fdhgjghsjkghwui" You layed there, not really knowing what to do. You pulled out your phone and just kinda played mineraft cause why the frickle frick frack not. Some time passes and you get hungry again, so you consume more mold. Fun. A few days pass, and you've been living off of moss and mold. Sometime in the afternoon Rouxls came back to your crusty cell.

"DISCUSTANG!!" He yelled. 

"Your hot ass didn't feed me, so I had to eat the mold. You also didn't water me, meanie." >:(
*anger noises* He shakes his head and picks you up, bringing you to his shop. "feed me."
He pulls out mac & cheese. 

"IM MAKING FUCKING MAC & CHEESE, AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME!!"

"Bruh." *happiness noises* He starts to make the mac & cheese. As you waited, you found his worm stash. "Wormies!" :ooo You started to pet the worms. Rouxls went to you with a bowl of mac & cheese. 

"Here thoust go." He gave you the bowl. You inhaled it like a vacuum cleaner, literally. *succy sounds* "That's whate goodeth coochie sounds liketh." You started wheezing and choking on your mac & cheese. Bruh had to give you mouth to mouth, which more or less became a make-out session.


Let me know if you want a part two cause like, bruh momentum.