That's How The Story Ends

"ABOUT ME"

I'm Alex. No,not exactly Alex.It is Alexander. My mom wanted to give their child's name according to a great warrior or historian. So she gave me this name.And it's just horrible for me.So I transformed Alexander to Alex.  Once my mom told me if I had a sister, she will give her name "Cleopatra". That time I said inwardly "Lucky she!"

So I am Alex. I have just step on 16 in this year. In spite of having such a great name, I'm not strong as him. I'm weak and also freaky sick.
I have a cancer called Adrenocortical cancer. (adrenal Cancer ) It is a triangular tumour located in my adrenal glandes . It is a rare. As a rare cancer it choosed me as a rare one. Because I have rare name dude, haha... 
But it is not that funny. It is really painful. Really....
It can not be illustrated in
'p a i n'.
I have a lot of problems. Like headache, I have also skin problems,( reddish-blue streaks on the abdomen and arm), high BP.
Before these, cold and fever are nothing.
But the headache is the most dangerous thing. Sometimes it becomes unbearable. I don't want that my mother sees me in pain. Because her gloomy face is the most painful thing in this Earth for me. But a few times she saw me. I was screaming with pain. That time she looked completely rudderless. Like that it was the worst thing she had ever seen.

I had this sucker since I was 14. These tweo year I have been trough crucial diagnosis and chemo. Now according to doctors it’s now non-cancerous. But I don’t think so. I belive it is still  enough cancerous to kill me.
When last last chemotherapy was finished my mom was so happy. And my dad was so proud of me. He said.
"Son, you just frightened us. I and your mom were scared to loose you. But you proved us wrong. I'm so Proud of you, Alex."
"But Dad, what did I do? I didn’t do anything. The doctors did all the things. You should proud of them. Haha.."
"You lived, that's why. "
They are now happy. Really happy.
And I have no rights to break their happiness. So, I always act all fine.
But there is something muddling inside me. I don’t know what. And I just know that's not curable. Ah....

But there is one thing that can cure me. That is Love. Only love can cure me. But once I have this. But that wasn’t true. Wasn’t..
Her name was Ella. She was a sweet storm. She was sweet but storm. She had dark black eyes. Like black hole. And the whole universe's  mystery was in her eyes.
She only loved me for my money. Forget about it. It was all fuckings past.

Now I will find true my love till my death. Who will only love me. Love me...