Without You ✔️ (completed)

I. message: پیغام

"Dear Ayla,
This is Rabail Noor. This is gonna sound so weird ugh. But I'm a friend of your brother. Uhm we work together. He told me about you and so have I heard from someone else. I just wanted to reach out to you and see how you are doing? I know the relationship between you and your brother is bit strained but he misses you and I was wondering if you'd be willing to come by sometime and see if you'd like to meet him. I hope I haven't creeped you out. I'm sending you a photo of us so you know I'm not some crazy psycho. Looking forward to hearing from you -

Rabail Noor
Professor Khan's Assistant

P.S. your brother is a professor with stinky attitude."

She read it. Reread. Again and over. God. Twelve years. She couldn't even recognize him in the photo as he stood with a girl who was in hijab and glasses. Rabail Noor. Apparently his assistant. But him. Gosh. He'd always had hair gelled to the seventh sky, but here he was his hair long and tied. The dimple they all shared as family gene was hidden in the stubble that covered half of his face. And his eyes. They were at peace and she couldn't be happier.

The last time she had seen him, his eyes were ragging. Angry. Ready to destroy the world. To murder their own father as he blamed him for the death of their mother.

"Lala," she yelled in excitement as she flew down the stairs, skipping two at a time and almost rolling over but she didn't care. Nothing mattered today. Nothing except that there was a chance she might see her brother again. "Kabir Lala!" She yelled as she reached the base of the monumental staircase.

Her feet faltered and she came to halt as her eyes fell on the dinning table. Her father's brown eyes looking up in disdain as he heard her commotion. His cold hard gaze meeting her as he skillfully cut the omelette with his knife and fork.

She swallowed and stepped back. Her figure retreating into the living room. But she didn't give a damn how cold her father was today. She just stared at the photo on her phone.

Listening for the noise of footsteps, she stayed behind the door. Once she heard the servants picking up the plates and the sound of heavy footsteps fading away she sighed in relief.

"Ayla?" Kabir Lala's voice echoed through the hallway. She was twenty-eight years old successfull architectural engineer, but the way he called her name so protectively she thought she was still four years old. "Aaloo?"

She walked back to the dinning room and he was fixing the cufflink on his sleeve and then looking back at. Of all of them, his eyes were the only one that were different. They were of their mother's side. The subtle green mixing in with the hazel, swirling together to become a reflection of nature.

"What happened? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, but look at this." Her lips widening and her eyes squinting as if she had found the most important treasure of life as she held up the photo on her phone.

His eyes went blurry with confusion for a second and then his body was rigid. He stiffened and straightened up as he fixed his tie. His yes turning cold like of their father.

"Lala,"

"Who sent this to you?" She showed him the message and a line of amusement filled his eyes before disappearing and coldness taking over again. "You can go if you want, Aaloo."

Her heart could've bursted with happiness in that moment until she remembered her father and she looked into Kabir eyes.

"Don't worry about Dad. I got you. I'll figure it out. Find yourself a flight and i'll see what I can do with the recent project and its official trip."

"Don't you miss him?"

"I stopped feeling when Mama left us, Ayla. Both of my brothers were gone with her."

He bend down, kissed the top of her head and left.

She knew deep down Kabir missed his older brother because without him the world hadn't been kind to them and most of all to her. But of all people she knew why he left and she could never blame him because she herself was the reason he was gone.

/////

Rabail had been absolutely wonderful in communicating with her but she reached her apartment apparently she had forgotten to tell her that another piece of her past was in Exeter. The one that made guilt swirl like a poison in her veins.

Zachary Wahab

Her best friend. Her lover. Her everything.

And now he was her nothing, but a forgotten part of her past. Or at least she tried to forget him. But how could one forget to breathe and he was like the blood in her veins, giving life to her heart even after years.

She met her brother and she thought she could heal her world and leave without seeing him but then she had heard the breaking of the cup. And then their eyes met.

The angry shock in his. The betrayal of past coming alive as she looked away with guilt. He wasn't Her scrawny diva Zach. No, he had grown up. His eyes no longer soft with mirth and life. No they held thirst for revenge. Revenge on her and her past.

Let it go, Zach. You won't be able to handle the truth.

She wanted to scream across her brother's living room, but screaming meant speaking her pain out and that terrified her. Reminding her the pain of burns when she tried once.

Zachary didn't understand that as he stared back at her with hate and accusations. She looked away. Her eyes couldn't bear the darkness of his eyes. He was once the light of her life until she became the darkness herself and overpowering his love and his light. Her eyes slowlying looking at the shattered pieces of cup. The reality of their relationship. And then she stared at the wedding band on his hand and her heart dropped to her stomach as she stared back into those eyes with shock.