P. I
They tell me
To go back and look for her
They tell me
To embrace her
Because she's just an innocent child
How could I not love her?
But even then
She did not love herself
Everything she did
Was never good enough
All she got were harsh insults
Yelled at her
For any and all mistakes
All she believed were those words
That she was stupid, weird, worthless
How do I go back
And love that?
Don't tell me to look at her picture
And say kind things to her
And don't have the gall
To tell me to look in the mirror
And do the same
Where will I find those kind words?
They're there but not for me
How do I love
When I was taught to hate myself?
P. II
I tell myself
To go back and look for her
I tell myself
To get to know her
What she was really like
Rather than what she was told that she was
Because she was just a child
Growing and learning
During a vital point in life
And even then
She deserved to feel loved
And worthy
Everything she did
Was always enough
All she should have gotten
Was a willingness to be understood
Spoken to her in kindness
For all accomplishments and mistakes
All she needed to believe
Was that she was enough
Just as she was
So how do I go back and love her?
Tell me to embrace her
To dive back into her passions
Relearn again what she loves and values
And be kind to her
Tell me to look in that mirror
And repeat those words to my present self
Where will I find such kind words?
I know now they're there
Even if from only my friends around me
And my ever supportive family
If I can't find them within
Then from outside is enough for now
How do I love
When I thought I only knew how to hate?
Learn from my past
And forgive myself for the pain
