Note to self

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When is it enough?

When your wound bleeds

for a week or you pass out

at the airport

or at the theater

& the paramedics are called

or when you have to drink

liquid charcoal

puking up your overdose

all night or when you 

have to make yourself

throw up all the pills

at home

When is it ever enough?

When you have chest pains

for hours

or almost fall asleep

at the wheel everyday

or you stay up over 24 hours

m a ni c

or when you lose over 

3o pounds in two months

or is it when the hospital 

& treatment centers

become a second home?

When will it ever be fucking enough?

It won't.


So pick up the pieces 

of your shame

because as long as 

you're falling apart

you're never going to fall 

in love with anyone other

than the destructive chaos

that is your chronic illness.

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