Everything Is Eternal (Book Two)

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Will wanted to believe the pain would stop. All pain ended eventually. No one could live through eternal agony.

But the pain in his knee continued tearing through him. Eventually, Will stopped screaming. Eventually, he became accustomed to the constant burning.

Sister Celine came to see him after the Shin Incident. With an impassive expression, she examined the burns on his knees.

"If you truly accept the Eternal Light, the pain will end," Sister Celine said. "Your resistance to belief is bringing you pain. The hurt will fade as soon as you allow the Light to take hold of you."

If Will hadn't been so depleted from the pain, he would have given her the finger. Because he was haunted by that moment when he called out to the Eternal Light.

The pain stopped. Everything felt right and beautiful.

But his own stubbornness returned, reminding him that he didn't believe it was a deity. The first jab of pain only made him determined to renounce the Eternal.

The pain returned like a wildfire. Everything was agony and suffering.

After a few hours, or days, of ceaseless pain, Will was finally brought to the infirmary. Nurse Emi checked over his knee, removed the glass shards that were embedded in it, and used a few salves on the cuts. But they didn't help. The burning was affecting the healing. The best Nurse Emi could do was suggest he pray.

If Will's hands hadn't been shackled, he would have thrown something at the nurse.

Finally they sent the novice into see him. Will almost felt sorry for the kid. Despite his masked face, Will could see his revulsion.

"What... what is that smell?" B asked.

"Puke," Will grunted out. "Couldn't make it to the pot."

There was probably a little more than vomit. For the longest time, Will hadn't been aware of anything.

"I... I want to help you," B said, as though it was a quick burst of honesty. "Like I did with your feet. And I can if..."

"If I accept the Eternal?"

B eagerly nodded.

"Not going to happen," Will said.

"But..."

"The Eternal isn't a god!" Will burst out. "The Light... I can't explain it! But it doesn't come from a god. It comes from people. Praying won't work..."

B was silent for a moment. "Did you try to pray?"

Apparently, the novice wasn't completely oblivious. "Doesn't matter," Will said eventually. "Nothing will change. Maybe that is the truth about the Eternal Light—pain is Eternal."

"If you tried..."

The pain got too much and Will grabbed his uneaten dish of food and threw it at the novice. His aim was still as poor as ever. It crashed into the wall with a dull thud, scattering the mush on the floor.

"What the fuck do you mean by trying?" Will asked with viciousness. "Should I take an orb of Eternal and smash it into one of my friends? Should I do it again and again? Sacrifice is part of devotion to the Eternal Light. Funny how sacrifice means sacrificing others! Is that what I need to do to find salvation?"

"You're upset..."

"My leg is on fire!" Will erupted. "It's never going to end! Ma-Madeline was right. Dying is better, but I never wanted... I never wanted her..."

He couldn't expose himself any more to this kid. Anything he gave the Eternal was used against him, even his best friend. Shin was more than just his best friend. He was the embodiment of all Will's principles.