The New Swan

Chapter 4

"Ok, so I don't exactly know how to word this so I am just gonna say it. I have this.... feeling inside of me that I have this darkness inside of me, and it terrifies me. I feel so much pressure to be a hero like the rest of my family. Hearing all of these stories of them saving the town, and mom being the savior. I don't want to disappoint them, but I just feel the darkness," I said really fast blurting all of the words out. Saying that out loud, to someone who isn't Olly, just makes it so real. I can't pretend it is not a thing, that it's not real.

..

My session went well, Archie helped me. I am already starting to feel better about the situation. He told me to stop calling it darkness because that makes it sounds more intense and makes me have more anxiety about what I am feeling.

As I walked outside I saw Olly standing there waiting for me with me my favorite smoothie in his hand, carrot and apple. I know that isn't the most popular flavor but I like what I like. "Olly! How long have you been waiting here?"

"90 minutes," he smiled and handed me the smoothie. He wrapped an arm around me and as we walked away from Archie's.

"You have been waiting for the whole 2 hours?"

"No, only one hour and fifty minutes, the first 10 I was getting our smoothies, I finished mine a while ago though," he said in a cheery tone.

"Oliver, why did you wait that long?"

"I wanted to know how it went." Olly is the sweetest person I know, he deserves better than me, better than this world. He worries me with how nice he is, I am so scared that he will just let people walk all over him.

"Well I really appreciate you waiting for me, and it went pretty good. I am starting to feel better already," I said looking at him. We talked the whole way home, which was only a 10 minute walk from Archie's office. "Okay, I have to tell my parents where I went so I will talk to you tomorrow."

"You didn't tell them?"

"I didn't want them to make a big deal about it in case I decided not to go back."

"Hope, what am I going to do with you."

"Love me, because I am your best friend," I said giving him an innocent smile.

"You're right I love you, see you tomorrow Hopey." We waved goodbye and he walked into his house. I really didn't want to tell my parents, but I had to. I sighed and walked to the house.

Mom and dad were sitting in the living room watching Thor. When I walked in the door squeaked really loud and they both swung their heads to look at me. "Where have been you love?" dad said in his fading accent.

"Can I talk to you guys about something?" I asked. They both looked really worried when I said that. "Don't worry it's not anything bad." I sat in front of them on the coffee table. "Okay, so I have been feeling really.." there was absolutely no way in hell I was gonna tell them about the dar- the feeling I have been having, they will just tell me the same thing that Oliver said. "...anxious, and I didn't know how to deal with it, so I went to see Archie."

"The cricket? What for baby?" dad asked me.

"Are you okay?" mom asked concern in both of their eyes.

"I am fine I swear. Just this anxious feeling was just terrible so I decided to talk to him, and I already feel better. I want to go to him regularly I think."

"Well I am glad you feel better baby," mom said hugging me. "Why didn't you tell us before?"

"I didn't want to make a big deal about it in case I didn't like it."

"Well, I am glad you told us, Hope," dad said. I smiled, telling them lifted this huge weight off of my shoulder.

"I am gonna head to my room, is that okay?"

"Of course love," dad said. I walked upstairs and into my light blue room and flopped onto my queen size bed. Dad always told me they got me a queen size bed because I am a princess now but when I grow up I will be a queen, that always made me smile. My room was one of my favorite places in the world. I rolled to face the tv and turned on Netflix and put on some standup comedy to listen to, then I pulled out my phone to text Oliver.

Hope: I told them :))

Oliver: That's great. How did it go??

Hope: Pretty good. I thought they were gonna make a big deal about it but they didn't

Oliver: That's good :))

Hope: Wyd?

Oliver: Waiting on my dad to finish dinner

Oliver: wait- does this mean you told them about the darkness?

Hope: No

Hope: I just told them I was feeling anxious

Hope: also I'm not calling it that anymore. Archie said that would make how I am feeling worse

Oliver: I have been telling you that!!

Hope: Well now I am listening.....

Oliver: Not because I told you.

Hope: sorry...

Oliver: it's ok <3

Hope: You know I love you right?

Oliver: forever and always

...

I am really loving this book so far! I just have so much insperation to write it! As soon as I finish the chapter I want to post it, but I am not because I have an upload schedule now!! I update this book Fridays at 5pm central, and Pan and his Darling on Mondays at 5pm central. I hope you guys are liking the book :))