Sierra and Aiden: Anthology

Drunk Confession

Sierra was peaceful in my passenger seat.

I tried to stay focused on the road but I kept fearing she might throw up in my car and I would kill her if that happened.

I think I've never seen her party like that before.

She danced without caring and, I have to admit, it was kind of hot.

I liked watching her let go of her insecurities, just as I wish I did with mine.

I didn't drink that much. I had to drive her home, I promised her parents I would in exchange of them letting me stay the night so I don't drive home.

We had a couple of shots to start the party and then she went rogue. It was her party after all. Her friends encouraged her and laughed and got drunk too, which was not as funny as it would've been if I was part of it. Not that I ever get to that level of drunkenness.

We danced together and she held my hand in several occasions.

When it was time to go, I offered my arm and she laced hers around it. She looked better now, as if what made her drunk was the music and the people. She laughed at nothing and walked in a zig zag, but she was fine.

I know she knows her limits, and I know she knows she crossed them tonight, but I didn't mind that much seeing her like that. She doesn't go out that often, so I know this is weird on her. Besides, seeing her dance and have fun and hold my hand just because she wanted to, was worth it.

She had a little trouble lowering her head to get into the passenger seat. It probably was the only moment in my entire life I ever wanted a bigger car. I put her seatbelt on and she smiled at me and said a soft thanks.

I smiled back and went to the driver seat.

We rode in silence for a while until she said, "hey, Aiden... am I drunk?"

I laughed and said "Yes. Very."

"Oh."

"Did you have fun?"

"I did! I danced with so many people. I didn't think that was possible." she went quiet for a second and I could see her looking at me in the corner of my eye. " I danced with you. That was my favorite."

I smiled automatically. "Mine, too"

Silence again. We were almost home, alone on the streets. Just a couple of cars here and there, when she said it.

"Hey,"

"Hey", I answered, turning a little towards her, but she was looking out the window.

"I know I'm probably saying this because I'm drunk, because otherwise I'd never have the guts to do it, but I feel like I need to say it. You know?"

I nodded, then I said "ok" outloud because she still wasn't looking at me. She pulled her knees up and hugged them before continuing.

"So... I like you."

"I like you too."

"No no no," she said shaking her head a little bit. I could see her eyes were gazing at the few visible stars. "Like... I like you, like you. I'm more me when I'm with you. I'm more me when I'm chatting with you. I think I might be...".

WHAT? I... I didn't know what to say. My mind went blank.

"I just want you to be happy, you know?" I nodded even though I knew she wasn't looking. "You are such a perfect guy and you don't even see it. Now, don't freak out because I said you are perfect. I know you aren't, but that's the point. You don't need to be perfect. But you are great, even if you're scared of new things, and you don't talk to me sometimes. Even if you're insecure and shy at times, and even if you put milk in your coffee and take the lettuce out of a burger. Even then. You're not perfect but... you're my perfect. You're my superhero."

By then I was just wonderstruck, listening to her talk. I didn't know what to think or what to feel or why I wanted to cry. She didn't notice, she was falling asleep.

"I wish you knew how much I want to kiss you sometimes. How much I want to hold your hand. How I imagine it would feel like holding a star. I think about that everytime you come to me for help. How much I want to tell you how amazing you are. I firmly believe everything will be ok if I hug you. I feel safe with you. I feel whole, even when I'm breaking apart. You don't need to fly or have x-ray vision to be my hero. You are... Batman. My Batman. I wish you knew that."

That did it. Tears were running down my cheeks and I couldn't catch them all and drive at the same time. I didn't say anything and she fell asleep.

The rest of the way I turned the radio off and just listened to her soothing breathing.

I helped her get out of the car. By that time she was less woozy and more stable. I figured she could walk on her own but I didn't want her to, so I took her hand and she let me guide her to her bed.

She took the heels off before going upstairs and held my arm instead, when we took the last step, she let her hand slide down my arm (sending chills down my back) and clasped my hand.

Once in her room, I got panicky, thinking her parents could come out any second and see me there.

"Night night" I said, as she sat on the bed. Still clutching my hand. She looked up, closed her eyes, smiled and replied,

"Night, night" letting my hand go.

I don't know why I did it, but I leaned down and kissed her forehead.

I walked downstairs to the basement, where my bed was, still thinking about that moment. I got a headache trying to think about her words, her hand and her forehead all at once. I changed clothes, turned off the lights, and remained there. Thinking. Not thinking. Staring into the black abyss, wondering what to do next.

Eventually I dozed off and didn't realize it was morning until someone knocked on the basement's door.

"Hey sleepyhead, are you hungry?"

It was her.

Just listening to her voice made my stomach turn. I turned to look at her. She was wearing an Ironman tee, with loose joggers and crocks. Her hair was a mess and she still had some lipstick on.

She looked perfect.

"A little".