OɹǝZ ɹǝqɯnN (An Umbrella Academy Fanfic)

Emptiness Is The Greatest Type Of Numb

It was very late by the time Five turned the car onto our street. I was still gasping for breath, my face stained with tears. I was completely numb, I felt nothing. Five had driven the car onto the sidewalk, not even bothering to take the key out of the ignition before he and Klaus jumped out. Klaus opened up Diego's door, so Diego could bolt out with me.

"Come on! Let's go!" Five yelled as he held the Academy door open.

"I don't think she's breathing!" Luther yelled scaredly as he and Klaus carried Allison inside quickly.

"If we don't get her upstairs, she's gonna die!" Klaus screamed. Diego carried me tightly and bolted into the house after Luther. Five shut the door and ran with the others to the lab. Diego stopped in the lounge and placed me in a sitting position on the couch. I stared straight ahead, unable to move. He bent down in front of me.

"Nix, I'm going into the lab to help Allison and the others. As soon as I'm finished, I promise I'll come back and be with you, okay?" Diego whispered urgently as he ran his thumb over my scar. The only thing I could move was my eyes, so I met them with Diego's. He took that as my answer, kissed my forehead, and ran into the lab. Leaving me alone in the large, empty lounge.

I felt so empty and numb in the silence of the house. All I could hear was the ticking of the grandfather clock behind me and the erratic, loud beating of my heart. I felt hollow on the inside, like the only thing left was my heart and it was the only thing keeping me alive. I couldn't even tell I was breathing as I sat there on the couch, stoic and in shock. I blinked as I looked around, my heart rate quickening as if I was in danger. I took a sharp breath in, regretting it as the metallic smell of blood took over my senses. I choked on a sob as I looked down. My clothes and gloves were stained with blood, Lucifer's blood. I felt panic rise in me as I darted my eyes around, dark thoughts swirled in my head.

"Your fault."

"Your fault."

"Your fault."

They droned on. I let out a sob as I pulled my knees to my chest, rocking myself back and forth.

"It should've been you."

"You sent him to die."

"You let him die."

"Your fault."

"No! I didn't know!" I screamed out, hugging myself tightly as images of Lucifer's body flashed before my eyes once again.

"You're a coward."

"You were too scared."

"He loved you."

"You're the reason he's dead."

The voices got louder as they taunted me. I was shaking fiercely as I broke into a cold sweat, fighting to breathe.

"Please stop. Please." I muttered, tears running down my cheeks.

"He loved you."

"He's dead because of you."

"You sent him to die."

"You knew he was mortal and let him go anyway."

The voices repeated as they resonated off the inside of my skull. I held my head to my knees and sobbed.

"Make it stop! Please! Somebody make it stop!" I cried as my vision began going in and out of focus as I panicked, air escaping me. I gasped and sobbed, rocking myself as I shook.

"Oh, Nixxie." The voices ceased and my vision returned at the sound of Klaus's soft voice. I lifted my head up, still shaking and gasping.

"K-Klaus . . ." I sobbed out between gasps. Klaus immediately ran to me and scooped me up, sitting with me on the couch. I sat in his lap gasping and clinging to his chest.