21 - Survivor

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I sat on the cabin floor and stared at the arrow head that was neatly embedded in my thigh. Time to bite the bullet and yank it out. My fingers inched around the outside of the wound and I nibbled my lip, already imagining how much it would hurt to remove it. Dipping the tips of my index and middle fingers into the hole, I took in a sharp breath and retracted them. Not right now. Maybe later. I turned my attention to the large hulking man sprawled across the bed. It had been a challenge to get him here but I'd done it nonetheless. His chest was barely moving but I could just make out the very slow expansion of his ribs every now and then. The minute we'd made it to the cabin, I'd taken his shirt off and picked out the bullets one by one. Each little ball of metal that turned up in my hand made me feel even worse for shooting him. The holes were now gauzed and bandaged, leaving me with nothing but hope that he'd pull through. He'd been through so much worse, he could to survive this. He had to.

It took days. A lot longer than I'd anticipated. But he came around eventually. I was carrying a clean bowl of water over to the fireplace to try and wash some of my wounds when he stirred.

'Hnnngh...' I damn near almost dropped the water everywhere at the sound. Rushing to his side, I brushed the red hair away from his forehead.

'Jake? Can you hear me?' I said softly, taking his hand into my own.

'Am I in hell yet?' He grumbled, words rasping out of his mouth. He hacked and wheezed, eyes still tightly shut.

'No, I saved you.'

'You did what?!' He tried to sit upright but I had to push him back down forcefully.

'Stay on your back or you'll reopen all the bullet holes!' I cried, holding his shoulders firmly against the mattress. His light blue eyes finally opened once more to look at me, though they were weak with exhaustion.

'Am I hallucinatin' or some shit?' He reached up and cupped my cheek, unsure if this was real or not. His eyes drifted to my neck where he saw his dog-tags and charms swinging like out of time pendulums. I thought he was going to speak again but instead he just gritted his teeth and groaned in agony. 'Ngh.' Looking down at his abdomen, I could see flecks of blood inching their way though the gauze and onto the bandaging.

'Stay still.' I instructed, limping over to the pile of med-kits I'd collected over the last few days and taking out fresh dressings.

'Why're you limping?' Jacob coughed, watching me prepare what he so desperately needed.

'Don't worry about it.' I took out a needle and walked over to a small jar that I kept atop the fire place. Dipping the thin pointed end into the swirling liquid, I almost wretched at the stench. Hobbling over to Jacob, I got to work on re-bandaging his stomach so that it was fresh and clean. I then took the needle and turned his scarred arm over to unveil his veins.

'What is that?' He asked suspiciously, noticing the rashes on my arms.

'Do you ever stop asking stupid questions?' I challenged him, raising an eyebrow and he scowled but allowed me to slowly inject the substance under his skin. 'I extracted some Bliss. It'll take the edge off.'

'You're supposed to wear gloves when you handle it. Your arms are fucked.' Jacob reached for me but I gently pushed his hand back down onto the bed.

'It's fine. Just go back to sleep.' Tired myself, I plonked down onto the floor beside the bed and tilted my head back against the mattress. I hadn't slept beside him the whole time we'd been here, scared that I'd hurt him in the night. Jacob's hand found its way to my shoulder as I huffed out an emotional breath.

'You sure about this Bliss? It feels like the bed is flying.' There was something amusing about listening to his deep serious voice slurring over the drug.

'You're fine Jake.' I chuckled, using my knuckles to wipe away tears from the edges of my eyes. I was so relieved he was alive. I wasn't sure if I could cope with the idea that I'd killed him.

'Have I always had five fingers?' I pushed my head right back to look at him upside down. He held his other hand up to his face and flexed it, eyes woozy.

'You have four fingers and a thumb. Now go to sleep.' I shuffled into a more comfortable position, my wounded leg stretched out and the other bent up at an angle. Folding my arms across my chest, I shut my eyes.

'Only you, can make all this world seem right.' Jacob began to sing horrendously out of tune and I winced.

'Jake stop.'

'Sorry.' He mumbled incoherently. That was the first time he'd ever apologised to me. There was a pause. 'I'm scared.'

'No you're not.'

'I don't want to die.' He whispered and I looked over my shoulder. The Bliss was really taking an effect on him but there was something honest in his words. 'I don't want to die like this.'

'Hey,' I took his hand that rested on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. 'Nobody's dying today. As long as I'm here you're safe.'

'I love you.' He stammered. I wasn't sure if I'd heard him correctly. Maybe I should put him on Bliss more often? He was much nicer to me.

'No you don't.' I gave an exasperated sigh, still holding his hand but shuffling back into a comfortable position. It was like having a conversation with a drunk teenage boy.

'Yes I do.' Jacob argued. 'You used to walk past the homeless shelter every day and I'd see you and I'd wanna talk to ya but I couldn't because I'm me and you're you and I knew that I'd just ruin it.'

'Just shut up!' At the raising of my voice, he recoiled back into the mattress. 'Go to sleep Jacob, please.' He didn't say anything more after that. Eventually his breathing turned shallow and I knew he'd drifted off. Maybe using the Bliss was a bad idea after all. I couldn't cope with hearing about how he really felt right now, not with everything else that was already running through my mind. Loosing my grip on his hand, I gently placed it on his chest and drifted my fingers through his red hair. He looked so serene when he slept, like everything that troubled him when he was awake was a distant memory. Pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead, I watched his mouth tilt into a wonky smirk and then straighten out again.

'I love you so much.' I murmured shakily, eyes drawing down to his abdomen. We weren't out of the woods yet but I knew I could do this. I could fix it. I could make it better.

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