10 - The Second Trial

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Vision hazing in, the first thing I saw was a burning fire split by metal bars. Back in the cage again. Someone leant over me and pulled me upright, a face I didn't recognise. They offered me a bowl of water which I took, gulping the liquid down quickly.

'They want you to be strong. One of you will be strong...' My attention diverted to Pratt, he braced himself against he bars. His voice was distant, almost as though I was underwater. Jacob's frame towered behind my colleague, stepping towards us menacingly.

'Not-not again!' The man I was sharing the cell with grappled with the galvanised metal in desperation.

'Get outta here Peaches.' Jacob snatched Pratt by the shoulders and tossed him aside with ease as though he weighed nothing. Remaining calm and relaxed, I refused to show any signs of weakness. I was strong. I was deadly. Joseph emerged from the darkness and pulled his older brother into an embrace, touching their foreheads. Wrapping my fingers round the bars, a wolf howled loudly and it roused something inside me. As Joseph approached and crouched to my level I almost let out a snarl, shoulders rising in hostility.

'I know you're in pain. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh hm? But you're not the only one to be tested.' Joseph stuck his arm through the bars and showed me a tattoo of a woman on his arm. Bliss flowers surrounded her sweet smile. 'Did you know that I had a wife? So beautiful isn't she?' My eyes lingered on the woman and then flitted to Jacob. His gaze darted away from me, hand resting readily on his gun. 'We were pregnant with out first child. And we were  just babies ourselves really. I was just terrified about becoming a father. Mostly about money.' Nostrils flaring in agitation, I struggled to look Joseph right in the face. He looked so different to the little beat up kid I'd gotten so used to walking home with. 'She wasn't worried. She had faith that things were going to work out. She always had faith.' Joseph put extra impact on that final word, eyes narrowing at me. He was clearly not over the fact that I'd killed his 'sister'. Turning his face away from my own, the Father suddenly became very distant. 'And then one day she was going to go visit a friend. There was an accident and... the Lord taketh.' His eyes glassed over as though he was no longer present in this world. 'And they rushed me to a hospital and put me in a room with this little pink bundle stuffed with tubes and they said that I had to be strong because my little girl was going to live.' Intensity burned deep in Joseph's eyes as he turned his chin back to me.

'Oh...' It escaped my lips and I hadn't even realised until Jacob shot me warning glare with a slight shake of his head. I wasn't to interrupt.

'God was looking out for our daughter. And they left me alone in a room with her. I just stared at my daughter. So helpless. So innocent and all she had in the world was me. A nobody from nowhere with nothing. And in that moment I knew that God was testing me. He was laying out a path before me and all I had to do was choose.' I couldn't stop my eyes wandering back to Jacob again who this time was staring at the floor. His brow caved inward and I knew he was blaming himself for leaving his younger brother behind. For not being there to help him and protect him. 'So I put my hand on my little girls head and I leaned in and I could smell. And we prayed together. Prayed for wisdom. Prayed for for strength. Then I knew. I heard God's plan for me.' Joseph placed his fingers harshly against my own, squeezing them against the metal. I suddenly became aware of the distant screams filling the paddock. My tongue flitted over my teeth. Stay strong. Be strong. 'And I took my fingers and I put them on that little plastic tube that was taped to her angelic face and I pinched it shut. Mmm. And after a little while, her legs began to kick and kick... and then nothing. Stillness. Release.' Eyes widening, I wanted to recoil away but Joseph held me in place. The expression on his face was blissful mania, so impressed with his achievement but horrified at the same time. Leaning close to me, Joseph gritted his teeth and pulled me to my feet. 'The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh. Pain. Sacrifice. These are all part of his test. And we have to prove that we can serve God no matter what he asks.' Moving away, Joseph paused and placed a hand on his brother's chest. 'You've done well.' The recognition seemed to toy with Jacob's moral alignment for a split second before he moved to take Joseph's place in front of me. His face was rigid but I could see slight apprehension in his eyes. Reaching into his back pocket he produced the familiar little box and began to wind it up. I thought he'd talk to me but he didn't, brow twitching with uncertainty as the lid tilted open and I began to stagger backwards.

Only you,
Can make all this world seem right.

Strength. I needed strength. Clutching my head, I felt my spine bash into the back wall. Images of wolves, their teeth bared with a blood red tinge attached to the tip of their fangs filled my head.

Only you,
Can make the darkness bright.

Writhing sideways, I let out a harsh and agonised cry before locking onto the man I was sharing the cage with.

'Deputy please!' I heard him shriek and for a second I was pulled out of the hypnotic song. Floundering backwards again, I pressed my sweat ladened palms to my forehead. Don't be weak. Don't be weak. Don't be weak. Jacob reached through the bars and touched my arm lightly with his knuckles, dragging me back into his control. He placed a pistol in my hand before drawing away, his mouth drawing into a thin line.

'Cull the herd pup.' He instructed softly, tilting his head towards the Militia member.

Only you and you alone,
Can thrill me like you do.

'Deputy! Deputy no! What about Eli! Deputy!' The man begged for his life, falling to his knees and clasping his hands together. But I was too far gone. He was weak. I was strong. And it was time for the weak to die. Raising the pistol and pointing it at his skull, the blood vessels in my eyes widened and I felt a dark shadow coat my irises.

And fill my heart with love,
For only you.

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