Ehsaas - The Feeling...

Dreams...... Do they come true?

Jee baba.. Goodnight.... Are the only three words that escaped her vocal chord before she left for her room...

Baba yeh kya bol rahe the? Kya baba Ko kuch pata hai? She asks herself.. Nahi.... Baba Ko kaise pata hoga? She answers herself again!

Gulping down two glasses of water couldn't help her get rid of the suffocating atmosphere that has built around her.... She came near the window to open the panes ajar.... There...... The night was cloudy.....roaring winds indicated storm would hit any moment soon!

Storm.... That has built up both inside her and outside in the nature as well.. the storm outside would loose its power after few hours before it gets calm... But what about the storm that has built inside since that fateful day? What about the storm that is gaining power each passing second inside her? What about the storm that is not letting her breath peacefully? What about that storm which is eating her from inside just like termites? Well someone has rightly said 'Things that you save on your heart eat you alive'...
And Naina needs to vent out all to live... To breath... To sleep peacefully..

Mai itni uljhan mein kyu phansi hoon? Kyu Mai kuch decide nahi kar Paa Rahi hoon? Kyu?
Mai KMA gayi thi bhaiya k katil Ko dhundne.. Jab aj mujhe pata hai kaun hai wo shaks, kyu mai us Insan Ko saza nahi de Rahi hoon? Kyu?

Tears escape her eyes... After such a long time... There outside it begins to rain.... Seems nature feels her dilemma too!

Aj jab mujhe pata hai Rajveer sir ne Naveen bhaiyya Ko mujhse dur Kia tha kyu mera Dil kehta hai maaf kardoon unhe? Kyu mera Dil unke kahe huye har labs par yakeen karna chahta hai? Kyu? She starts weeping....

Bhaiyya....... She shouts...... Tears escape her eyes like summer tempest...

Bahiyya aap kaha ho bhaiya? Bhaiya aap sun sakte ho kya?? She sobs harder sitting on the floor..... The rough breeze making the wind chyme tingle loud ..

Bhaiyya aapki Gudiya aj kamzoor parh gayi.... Aap ki gudiya aapki gunehgar Ko saza nahi de payi... Aapki Gudiya haar gayi bhaiya.... Haar gayi....haar gayi Apne Dil k samne... Pyaar kar baithi unse..... Beintehaa Mohabbat...

Lekin... Lekin nahi.... Mai haar nahi Sakti... Woh admi jhoothe hai... Fareb hai.... Dhoka diya hai mujhe... Faida uthaya hai mere akelepan ka.... Main aapke Doshi Ko kaise maaf kare Sakti hoon? Nahi kar Sakti... Kabhi nahi.... Fire in her eyes again...

She stands up holding the window pane.... The gun shot echoes in her ears.... The gun shot that has taken her Naveen Bhaiyya away from her... That gun shot that has made her Rajveer Sir a murderer!

Nahi.... Mai us fareb se pyaar nahi kar Sakti.... Kabhi nahi.... Mujhe Captain Rajveer Singh Sekhawat Ko saza Dena padega... Kisi bhi keemat par... Naveen Bhaiyya k kalai me bandhi huyi meri Rakhi itni kamzor nahi thi ke woh Dil ke samne majboor ho jaaye.... Kabhi nahi..... Those hazel orbs are burning bright in the fire of revenge... Revenge from Rajveer...

A determined Naina turns around to go to bed when suddenly her eyes fell on the half filled jug beside her bed.... And her dream started playing on the canvas of her mind.... Exact flashbacks... Blood drenched Rajveer dying in front of her.... His one arm totally lost.... Bright are only those pair of intense eyes..... smiling at her....'Naina...maine Naveen k guneh garon Ko saza de Dia.... Naina mere Dil se aj Naveen k khoon ka bojh utar Gaya... aj Mai chain ki saas le sakta hoon....bhalei woh SaaS akhri kyu na ho... mujhe mere maut par koi afsos nahi... Mai aj Naveen k paas Jaa Raha hoon... Naina... Mujhe maaf kardena... Naina....un logo ne mujhse mera sab kuch cheen lia tha... Mera dost... Mera career...mera pya....' and those pair bright eye closes... Permanently... Leaving a lingering smile kissing his lips... His face looks sooo Devine... So pure..... ecstatic... Like a baby sleeping in his mother's arms.... And unknowingly a shiver runs down her spine... Her eyes turn moist again...

Nai.... Mai Rajveer sir Ko aise nahi dekh Sakti... Kabhi nahi....
Rajveer sir Ko Mai kuch nahi hone de Sakti.... I can't afford to loose him... Kahin yeh Sapna sach hua to???? She shivers again....

Nahi.... Yeh Sapna sach nahi ho sakta .. Rajveer sir mujhe chhorke nahi Jaa sakte... Kabhi nahi... Unhone wada Kia tha mujhse k woh har kadam par mere saath honge... Toh woh mujhe beech raste kaise chhor sakte hain? She starts crying again.. sitting on the bed pulling her folded knees more towards herself she tried to find peace...

Dilemma which she is in... Dilemma of brothers love on one hand and own love on the other....

The innocent soul getting pressed and churned...tattered and torn...

Jung ladna asan hota hai jab Dushman samne ho... Wohi Jung Sabse mushkil hota hai jab woh Apne aap se lada jaaye... Kyuki Apne aapse ladi huyi Jung me nuksan humesha khood ka hi hota hai...

Naina........... Beta......... Ro mat.... Mai hoon tere saath....
A soothing touch made Naina to look front...just to find her Baba who's eyes carried emotions and tears no less!