Intrepid » n.h. au

Chapter 28

"Banana Republic?" I repeat, raising my brows at her again. She just shrugs, like it's no big deal. "Babe, this probably costs as much as fifteen of the shirts I already own."

She smiles at my comment, shrugging again as she keeps looking at her hands. God, I hate this awkwardness. "It's for Christmas, I didn't want to get you something at a thrift store."

A smile slowly spreads across my face, and I hate that she's not looking at me, and not seeing how happy this is actually making me. As much as I'd love to keep talking about the most expensive piece of clothing I own as of now – I didn't even ask about the price, I just know it is – I decide to leave it on the end table I placed my hair product on. "Come here."

Freya looks up, a hopeful slash hesitant look on her face, and I can tell that she's unsure of whether or not she should listen to me. That is a feeling I would never want to make her feel. "Come on, I can properly move now," I tell her as I sit up, and cheer internally when she sighs, and stands up to get in bed with me. To think, tonight I'm going to have her lying next to me in my own bed- but sometimes I hate how platonic our relationship is.

I wait for her to properly lie down, stretching out my arm to wrap it around her when she places her head right under my collarbone. I hesitantly put my hand on her head, brushing her hair out of her face for a few seconds, while she inspects the fabric of my quilt. I bring my lips to her hair, but she continues to be quiet – I really screwed something up.

"How was work this morning?" I ask, quietly, but the awkwardness in my voice can be heard in the hallway, no matter how much I'm trying to sound casual.

"It was good, I'm not used to working in first shift though," She replies half-heartedly – and I remember that she switched shifts with Natasha because of me, because I'm leaving the hospital tonight and she wanted to be with me, and not at work instead. She insisted to do that, why do I feel guilty about it? "How was having Leanne here?"

I narrow my eyes at the top of her head, wondering if it actually bothers her that Leanne was here before her. "It was fine. She's fun to be with."

"Yeah, ex girlfriend are always fun to be with."

With a bright smile I decide, that definitely answers my previous question. "She's not my ex girlfriend, Freya," I tell her, instead of asking whether or not she's jealous. Something's telling me that wouldn't have taken me far.

"Are you still with her?"

"I was never with her."

"Mhm, she doesn't know what she's missing out on, then."

"Do you want to tell her what she's missing out on?"

"I'm not your girlfriend though."

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

"No, I'm mad at you."

The words leave my mouth before I've even realized what I'm saying; but the way she lifts her head and the look she gives me after answering, is enough to make me rethink my life choices.

And fuck, did I just ask her to be my girlfriend? And fuck, did she just answer with no?

"Okay, fair enough," I shrug as she sets her head on my chest again, and I take that as a chance to gulp; she really doesn't think that I'm serious – and neither did I until I asked the question. The only comfort I have right now is that she thought I was kidding. "Why are you mad at me though?"

Freya shifts slightly, pulling her body further onto mine, and eventually shrugging at my question. "I'm a girl. It's in my nature."

I chuckle, kissing the top of her head again before falling into a silence. It's not as awkward as the first one, but I just don't feel like being a part of any kind of silence with her. Not after I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said no because she thought I was joking with her.