Chino Hills Hoodrat

if the angels call your name

"How could I be mad? We're having a baby. Half me and half the girl I love. Kenya, I couldn't be mad. We're gonna make this work."

I told him I loved him back.

The vibe was still off as I walked in Park's. But I ignored it. I was happy he was happy. And our friends made him happy.

Park's was packed as usual. But Yasmin and Melo had saved us seats. At the table it was them, Armani, and Hakeem.

"You told him?" Yasmin whispered in my ear as I squeezed in the booth.

I nodded with a smile on my face, to assure her that everything was still okay.

I still wasn't tryna make it public.

Privacy is power. What people don't know, they can't ruin.

I held Jayo's hand under the table as we conversed separately. Every now and then he'd squeeze my hand, reminding me he was there.

I ate from his plate, he ate from mine. Everything we ever had we shared.

Melo and Yasmin were similar to us, but they were still exploring and learning eachother. It was refreshing to watch. I loved them.

I had learned Jayo from head to toe but I wasn't bored. He's my forever boy.

"You want some?" he asked me before he even touched his milkshake.

His food was on the house today and he was eating good.

"I'm okay baby, thank you." I declined.

It was some commotion outside but I couldn't see what was happening. We all heard it though. I held on tighter to Jayo's hand.

Keem stepped outside to 'handle' it.

"What do you mean handle?" Yasmin called after him. But he was already gone.

"I swear to God if he still on this drug shit." she grew upset.

Melo wrapped his arm around her and she sunk into his chest. Her face relaxed at his touch. I knew she loved him.

Jayo moves close to my ear, "I'm really gon be a daddy?" he whispered. His expression was happy.

Him and his daddy were never close. I knew he'd be better. I knew he take care of me and him.

I nodded with such a big smile on my face. I was so happy.

"We'll name him Isaiah, after my grandad." he whispered.

Jayo's grandfather lost to cancer when he was only 10. To this day, the thought brought Jayo to tears. If it was anybody Jayo wanted to be like, it was him.

"Okay." I agreed in the moment. I wasn't sure if we'd actually name him that. I'm sure now.

Isaiah Jayo Jr. I've decided.

Anyway, what happened next was something of a blur. And honestly I wish I could forget it all. I'd just remember the happy.

Keem came in running. He told us leave through the back. We thought he was playing but Yasmin knew him better.

"Guys cmon. Listen." She stood up making it her mission to push us.

I swear to god if I fucking knew.

We took our time to get up, still very confused.

That's when the first shot went off.

I looked around as everyone ran. And my eyes landed on a man with a ski mask. He stood by the door. His skin was light.

His eyes landed on me and he aimed his gun to me. Jayo saw this. He grabbed my arm pulling me behind him as we headed behind Melo and them to the exit.

The second gunshot went off, and I watched Jayo fall to the floor.

I think I screamed, because everyone who was still there turned to face me. I don't remember everything. I remember feeling a sharp in my stomach as I fell to the floor by him. The wound was in his chest and I held it. Melo, Yasmin, and Armani fell to the floor after me. I don't know where Keem was.

I begged him to hold on. He squeezed Yasmins hand. He was so scared, I saw it his eyes.

"You're okay." I tried to hold in my tears. I didn't want him to be scared. He was just so happy.

In my head, I begged God to let me switch places with him just this once. I don't talk to God often, but I do believe in him. I believed Jayo would be okay.

"Keep squeezing." Yasmin told him, her voice shook as she did.

Armani pulled out his phone to call 911. His voice cracked as he spoke into the phone. Tears flooded his eyes.

I wondered why he'd ever come back here. Los Serrano's was a graveyard. I hated this place.

Melo closed his eyes for a moment with his hands crossed. I believe he was praying.

He had to be the most scared. You have to remember he didn't experience these things ever.

I couldn't breath. I felt like I was dying.

His eyes were so droozy as I begged him to stay. He was fighting to stay. I know he wanted to stay.

I told him, "If the angels call your name, baby please tell them you're staying."

I was in tears, and so were all of us.

He looked at Melo once. Softly he chocked out, "Take care of them."

"Nah bro, you staying. Cmon keep yo eyes on me. You gon be here. We gon watch them together." Melo cried over him, begging him just I had.

"Baby please don't." I cried as I watched him shut his eyes.

His pulse was gone.

—

"I'm sorry ma'am, I understand this is very hard." the detective reached out to hand me a tissue. "Is there anything else you remember."

"No." I took it from him, wiping my eyes. I thought for a moment before I looked back up to face him.

"This was Hakeem Williams."

—

author's note:

this was hard to write.