Lose Control (The Jewel Project #5)

23.2|| Compromise

"Is that really necessary?"

"Kids." Herrison raised his hand. "I'm too exhausted for this. I'll read Skye's report when she'll have it ready and take it from there. Though I'm not sure what bothers you, Sam. This is positive feedback."

Sam bit the insides of his cheeks to keep quiet. Positive my ass. Getting rid of Skye was positive. Why on earth did she insist on coming again? It's not like she was great at it or seemed to enjoy the danger. Or helped much for that matter.

His gut twisted with guilt as he remembered her grabbing him and easing his fear of heights. And the way she rolled over that goon and then bit him. She wasn't completely useless. And maybe if he looked on the bright side, he'd feel better about everything. For once in what seemed like forever, he was capable of that. He could force himself to see the good part of Skye and ignore her snark.

"We'll talk tomorrow," Herrison said. "For now, you should both get some rest." And without waiting for an answer, he stood from his desk and left the room.

"Why do you want to come along?" Sam asked, the moment the door closed. "It didn't feel like you had the time of your life."

"Not the issue. You're more natural in that environment than I've ever seen you. Tonight was a breakthrough for me, and I'm hoping to get many more and help you."

"I thought you didn't want to help me."

She bit her lip, looking so young under his big jacket. "Stop fishing for apologies."

"Don't you think I deserve one?"

"Don't you think I deserve one too after everything you said to me? Especially what you said today?"

This was where he would prove he was much better than her, because he wasn't above providing apologies when they were deserved.

"I'm sorry about that. And actually how rude I've been to you from day one. Your attitude towards me just hits all the wrong buttons and I was too tired to fight my nasty impulses." Kill them with kindness.

It seemed to work too, because Skye's mouth dropped open. "Where did that come from?"

Sam shrugged. "What? I'm not a dick in general. Just when I'm angry or hurt, which is the only part of me you've seen so far. This is how I normally act."

Her eyes narrowed. "Is it an act, though?"

"Does it matter? We're defined by our actions, not our intentions. Intentions can change with the speed of light to suit our coping mechanisms anyway."

She kept squinting at him, and Sam felt proud of himself. He'd completely thrown her off, twisted her entire belief system when it came to him. After weeks of sessions, she had no idea who he was.

"I appreciate the effort you put into steering yourself right, even if it's empty at the moment," she finally said, her tone light, even friendly. "And I accept your apology. I also know this attitude won't help you heal. It will just ease the load over time because time does that whether we try or not. I will help you truly heal."

It was his turn to be surprised. "What? Why?"

"Because you're not Hannigan and you deserve it. You're also very deceiving and that's all the apology you're getting out of me for the time being."

Sam stared at her. He wasn't Hannigan. Most of the agents were either scared kids or acted like that prick. She'd assumed he was an entitled idiot combined with a scared kid and he hadn't given her reasons to think differently. But still, she was supposed to be a professional.