The Destruction Of Roses (On Hold)

Ginger Angel

I couldn't sleep that night. I stayed up the whole night reading kids poem books over and over again. I don't know why but there was this certain comfort about reading it.

Maybe because of the nostalgic vibes I was getting. Maybe because those times were way better than these times.

A tear slipped down my cheek, and my breath was heavy. I slapped myself.

"Stupid Rosèe! Stop crying dammit! You're a fucking loser you know that right?", I said to myself through my quiet sobbing.

I stuffed my face in my pillow, ashamed of myself. How stupid, Rosèe Vancoùver crying.

After my little stupid mental break down I washed my face and got ready for school.

I exhaled, and glanced at myself for the last time.

I wish I wasn't Rosèe Vancoùver

But apparently my fairy god parents weren't going to show up out of nowhere and say I've been Punk'd and won 2 billion dollars.

How do I say this? Life was getting boring. It felt so repetitive, over and over again.

There was no difference with each day, nothing was interesting anymore.
Everything just became blunt...

I wanted to end my life for a long period of my life, probably most of my life. I was too tired to stay, but too scared to leave.

So as a substitute for ending my life, I slit my wrists and slept longer than I should.

Sleeping felt like a skip button in my life, except it wasn't.

I finally decended the stairs, my head rather fuzzy in a funny way.

I sighed in relief at the sight of the house empty.

Thank god!

I quickly picked a second hand old overused dirty yellow sweater I got off the thrift store. I slipped on yesterdays leggings, it's not like anyone even notices me anyways.

I had 5 minutes left until the bus arrived, so I pulled out a cigarette and lit it with my pink Hello Kitty lighter.

I inhaled the sweet scent of the smoke, cigarettes always calmed my nerves.

I knew it killed, but I wanted to die anyways.

After a few minutes of tasting the cigarette, I threw it in the ground and stepped on it. I could still taste the cigarette, the taste lingered on my mouth longer than I expected.

A big yellow bus appeared in front of my lawn, I calmly walked towards it.

To be honest I thought it was stupid to still be using buses in high school, but since my broke ass couldn't afford a car, I had no other option.

I stepped inside only to be greeted by the whole bus smelling like the boy's changing room and axe. The whole bus was as rowdy as ever.

Are these kids high schoolers or middle schoolers?

They were still literally shooting spitballs.

I sat in my usual, pulling out a piece of bubblegum and my headphones on the highest level.

×

Mr.Gregory strutted back and forth inside the classroom. I rest my head on my arm,my eyes glancing at him sleepy.

Gosh,this guy is a sleep magnet. All he needs to do is talk and BAM! People'll be asleep as fast as I ruin my life!

Hell did I know what he was talking about, the only thing I noticed was how good he would look like with 'Moron' written on his flashy bald forehead.