Just Another Deal...

Take the risk?

Part of me questions this song but it was what I was listening when writing this chapter so I put it in.

This is the longest I've dreamt, and been able to fully appreciate it.
I sigh will I forget about this too?
"You won't" I hear him reply. Are you reading my mind? I think "nah its just that we're sorta connected. Are minds are linked together. At least when your dreaming it is" oh. "So what happens when I'm awake" I ask a little curious. He stays silent for awhile growing worried I pull away and turn to face him. "Bill?" He looks sad "I go back...back into the dark" sighing he stands "before you came back to that little clearing, I was in...in a place that...well the best I can put it is nowhere.

Stuck between the subconscious world and an eerie black void that, essentially has no meaning to its existence but having me there. I think the only reason I didn't actually die is because I was still in peoples thoughts. No matter how far back the memories were....I guess I traumatized a lot of people" he chuckles then sighs.

"Gods exist in the memories of people, theirs wishes or thoughts. And while I may not have been liked or sane at the time. I was still pretty powerful to classify as one. He turns to look at me, he smiles "it was lonely and all I had were the memories I had to interact with, and now with you I don't have to be alone, with you here your all I need. I want to protect you, keep you safe. The only reason I'll exist is for you. Your wishes, hopes, dreams there the only things I want to make come true. I hope you'll let me, let me give you that?" Blushing at the...proposal I think.

He wants me...only me its alot to think about. No ones ever wanted my attention or anything like this." I know we have a lot to talk about and I have to prove so much to you, to show my sincerity, and how dedicated I really am. And I will...so do you hate that?" I don't...I really don't. I shake my head no "I'm happy you don't hate it, so? Is there anything you want?"

Knowing its a stupid thought I blurt out the first thing I want. "I want to have you beside me...I mean J want to be with you in real life..." blushing I cover my face so stupid. "If, if that's what you want I can do that. But I'll need your help, yor smart and I'm sure you could do it. I'm sure you could bring me back easily." Me? What could I possibly ever do.

"Can...Can I really achieve that? Am I not just a burden?" How can this unsightly Me, ever really accomplish anything. "I Know...I know what my parents think, What my Sister thinks... That I'm not worth their time. I know I've let a lot of people down. I've been told it so many times." Why should I even try to get my hopes up, what was I ever good at. I ruin everything, I should never trusted with something this important. I try to walk away, I don't even know where I would go.

"No!" I don't reply to that, nor stop myself from flinching at the shout. "Your not worthless, what's worthless is everyone else's opinions. What they say, or what they think about. It all means nothing because there's people that don't care about any of that. To me...your not nothing, your my everything. You've become my whole world."

His smile is like a million watts, its beautiful. How did someone like me catch his attention, but whatever I did I never want to lose it. "To me...your my everything, your my hero" He frowns after that with a self-depracating laugh he pulls away. "What's wrong did I say something wrong?" I start to panic.

-Switch p.o.v-

"Explain to me how I've  done right, how I'm the hero in all 
this, justify the wrongs I've done".
 I'm shouting now after a moment of silence, I look at him with a forced smile, It feels so brittle and I know it looks forced.
 "you cant but that doesn't  change that my heart beats for you... That I'm starting to care for you, heck I might even love you and doesn't  everyone deserve someone"

 He gives me a small encouraging smile.
 Is it possible that a monster like me 
can find happiness, that this boy can bring me so much of that happiness and, even when I've  done so much to hurt him and those around him he still loves me". I lean 
my head into him touching foreheads.
The tears slowly come out like a 
broken damn, my tears wont stop.

He slowly whispers into my ear sweet soothing things, things I  need to hear, things I want to hear.
 I feel like I'm not such a monster. If 
this one person can see me and can  bring the good out of me. Then maybe just maybe I'm not so bad. Even if he's the only one that will ever accept me that's not so bad...who needs the world when I own his heart.

"You know Pine tree now that I have you I'm not letting go not even death will stop our love."
A small blush forms across his face he giggles "That might not be so bad...I wouldn't mind spending my life with you" I smirk at him "think eternity". In this moment, in this very instant I'm glad we found each other. I have so many regrets and I should suffer so much more than I did, but I hope the universe will let me have this. This small slice of happiness I've been graced with. Even if it isn't love yet, I hope it becomes so much more than that. And whatever he needs or whatever he wishes I will try to become that, try to make it happen. Because to me, he's become the brightest light and all the warmth and kindness he has is mine.

There an update yay, I hope its good it took me a while to get it right. And I know there's still some spelling and grammar mistakes. Ill fix them and I'll edit them later, I'm so tired right now, so good night

P.s I'm too excited to edit and fix before publishing

P.s.s I'll fix it if it doesn't make sense, so if it doesn't please leave a comment and don't worry about being kind, I can take the negative criticisms

P.s.s.s I feel it's moving to quick