Cold Tears

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They say tears feel warm
When they fall from your eyes and streak down your cheeks ; but these tears
Are cold
Am I really crying or is it just
The rain I'm feeling; clear invisible prisms falling from a black sky, visible,
In the dim yellow street lamp that's flickering

They say rain feels cold
If you stand in it for too long it'll chill you straight to the bone
Maybe I'm numb
But I feel right at home
Soaked from head to toe with no feeling in either my body or my soul- I tread on

They say love feels warm
Like a closeness deep within your skin it takes hold of you
If that's so then i suppose it's love I feel when your hand strikes my cheek and your ring leaves a crimson streak
Of red saturated heat
And I guess it's love I feel when that burning takes hold of me
Throwing my fist into a wall because it's all I can do instead of bawl
But the tears feel cold
Or maybe it's just the rain I'm feeling

They say success is always achievable
How could I know what success is if I don't even own my own core
         Anymore
A life of people pleasing and trying to stop all the fighting and teasing
But i don't feel the pain
         Anymore

I was told crying is healthy
I was told crying is for the feeble
I've been told smiling is good for you
But all the smiles I've seen are artificial

And I've been told tears feel warm
But these only feel cold
Or maybe it's just the rain I'm feeling
And I'm not actually crying at all

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