Brooklyn Nine-Nine

22 | Confessions & Thumbtacks

"I swear to god, Captain." Jungkook leaned forward in his seat, seething with irritation. "You've called me into your office every single day this week and all you do is tell me is to ask Jimin out."

Namjoon arched a brow. "And what about it?"

"What happened to 'no dating in the workplace' or whatever?" Jungkook asked, running a hand through his hair.

"You call this zoo a workplace?" Namjoon asked, pointing out his window where Jungkook could see Taehyung trying to staple a bunch of post-it notes to Yoongi's hair while he was fast asleep.

"Anyways, just quit telling me to ask him out!" Jungkook whined. He stomped his foot on the ground. "I don't wanna!"

"But you like him."

"I like Chris fucking Hemsworth too but do you see me asking him on a date?" Jungkook spat and Namjoon gave him a look. "Okay, shut up. I know I profess my love to him everyday on Twitter."

"Jungkook," Namjoon said seriously. "You should tell him about your feelings before you leave."

Jungkook's face fell, remembering the assignment he received a week ago. "You're right," he mumbled.

━━━━━━━━

"What did you want to tell me?" Jimin asked.

Jungkook stood in front of Jimin, completely frozen. His doe eyes were wide open, practically bulging out of his head.

"Earth to Jungkook?" Jimin waved a hand in front of his face.

"Ding dong," Jungkook croaked out miserably.

━━━━━━━━

Jin slapped his folders onto his desk. "God fucking dammit! Taehyung, I'm gonna slap you into another fucking dimension."

Taehyung choked on his coffee. "I breathed?"

"I'm going to kill you, you fucking fruit." Jin held up a stapler.

"Fruit?"

"You look like a fruit," Jin snapped. "Not like a homosexual. I mean a literal fruit."

Taehyung looked offended but frowned. "Wait, why are you mad at me?"

"You didn't pick up all your damn thumbtacks." Jin turned around in a stiff manner. "There's a thumbtack up my fucking ass."

"Well, how'd it get up there?"

"I don't know, Taehyung, why don't you stick your head up my fucking ass and ask it?" Jin retorted.

Taehyung grimaced. "Oh crap, I think you should see a doctor."

"Language!" Hoseok scolded.

━━━━━━━━

Jimin was working efficiently at his desk, filling out over six police reports in the past hour. He had no problems, except for Officer Jeon standing at his desk and staring at him expectantly.

Jimin sighed and put his pen down. "Jungkook, what do you want?"

Jungkook stared at him and utter fear, his eyes bugging out again. Jimin looked uncomfortable and tried to look away, but whenever he did, he could feel Jungkook's gaze.

Jimin's voice cracked. "You better stop."

"Ding dong."

"Oh fuck off already."

━━━━━━━━

Hoseok sighed as he had to get rid of the week's load of letters from Jimin. Many of his co-workers came up to him and told him how cute it was that Jimin wrote him letters. Little did they know that Jimin was actually writing him death threats.