"Do I love her..?" (Saeyoung x Reader fluff)

Chapter 13: "The emotional issue. (Part 2)"

Saeyoung's POV
I parked the car and rushed to her door. I knocked on it and smiled softly. "Hello!" I called out happily and knocked again.

Your POV
I heard a knock on the door. "S-Saeyoung..?" I asked softly and rushed to the front door and looked at the peep hole, and sees him on the other side. I smiled happily and opened it. "Hello Saeyoung! What a surprise to see you here!"

No ones POV
"Hey!" He smiled and hugged you tightly. "I missed seeing you." He spun you around and set you back down on the ground. "Oh... really sorry." You didn't expect that he spun you around, you got surprised and giggled at him as you hugged him tightly aswell. "It's okay, I liked that you spun me around. It felt nice." "It was weird to me." He blushed and walked inside your house. "So um... what were you up to?" He asked nervously and glanced at you. "Nothing really.. I was just being lazy.. thinking about yo-" You caught yourself. "I mean, yeah. Just being lazy. Nothing really to do here." You shook your head and sighed. "What about you?What were you up to?" "Thinking about who?" He raised an eyebrow and chuckled. He knew what you were about to say so he wanted to tease you a lot for it. Your face turned red and flinched. "No one! I'm thinking about no one! Totally no one!" "Oh really? No one?" He asked and raised an eyebrow. "Hmm?" He wiggled his eyebrows and smirked. Your face is still blushing dark red and really flustered. "D-Does it even matter?!" Your voice got a bit shaky. "It does to me." He huffed and pouted cutely. "Please, tell me who you were thinking about." He begged. You thought about it and denied. "If I tell you, you'll make fun of me.." you grew embarrassed and looked away. "That's true." He nodded and tapped his chin. "But that's fun for me, it's not fun for you?" He raised an eyebrow. You pouted a bit and shook your head. "I guess it's not.." you crossed your arms. "That's mean." He mumbled and shook his head. He sat down on the couch and sighed softly. "No, not really. You just always like teasing me!" You whined and sat down on the couch next to him. "Well it's fun to tease you, that's why I do it." He huffed and crossed his arms. "So you should let me do it." You playfully rolled your eyes and sighed. "Okay, fine. I'm only going to let you do it, because I teased you a lot aswell." "Yay!" He laughed and pulled you close to him. "Finally!" He smiled and kissed your cheek. You blushed bright red and touch your cheek where he kissed at and looked at him surprised, but smiled at him. "I... I didn't mean to do that. Oh my god, I'm so sorry..." He quickly moved away from you and held his head in his hands. "Saeyoung, it's okay..! You shouldn't apologize.. I actually liked it." You put your hands on top of his and rubbed his hands to comfort him while smiling at him. You actually did like it, you admitted. "Oh, you did? For some reason I thought you were going to beat me up or something." He chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. You chuckled softly and starting putting your hand through his hair. "Why would I beat you up? I'm too weak to fight you, you dork." You joked. "Because sometimes you're mean enough to beat me up, you've done it before y'know." He crossed his arms and pouted. "I had my first reason before. But I'm sorry about that! You chuckled softly and hugged him tightly. "It's okay." He nodded and looked down at you. He blushed and licked his lips. "I feel like just a mess." You looked up at him. "Why is that? What's wrong?" You asked him as you still hugging him. "Nothing, I've never felt like this before." He looked down at his lap and tried to avoid looking at you. "Never felt like what..? Never felt love before..?" You softly asked and you slowly caressed his face. "Yeah, it's strange." He nodded and looked at you. He couldn't help but blush and he grew embarrassed. You still caressed his face. "It's strange that you never had the love that you deserve.. I'll change that.." you softly smiled at him and softly kissed his forehead. "What do you mean?" He whispered and blushed an even more noticeable shade of red. "My face matches my hair huh?" You giggled and nodded. "Yes, you're really cute when you blush~" you teased and poked his nose. "Thanks..." he mumbled and looked down at his lap. He didn't know what to say or do now. What did couples do? "Why are you being so shy around me? You shouldn't be shy." You said and smiled. "I don't know." He shook his head and pouted cutely. "Please don't say that... I'm not shy, you're shy." You softly laughed and shook your head. "You don't have to be embarrassed about it. It's normal to be shy." "It's not normal, I'm never shy!" He whined cutely and shook his head. He wasn't used to whining either. You raised your brow and still laughed. "Are you sure about that? You shy strawberry." You joked, calling him a strawberry because of his hair. "I'm sure, I'm not a strawberry!" He whined again. You were driving him absolutely crazy and he couldn't take it. "Mhm, Sure you're not." You teased him again and ruffled his hair. "I'm sure that your hair smells like strawberries aswell." "No! Well... actually maybe." He shrugged and stood up. "I should probably go now, goodbye." You immediately grabbed his wrist as he stood up. "Why so soon..? You just got here.." you frowned. "Because I uh... have to go visit Jumin and his precious cat." He smiled shyly and looked at you. Obviously lying. "But Jumin doesn't want you being near him or Elizabeth?" You asked looked at him confused. You started to feel like he's avoiding you at the point. "Oh... really? I don't know why he would want that, I'm the best of the best when it comes to taking care of cats." He pouted cutely. "Sure, okay. Since when?" You joked and chuckled. "Since forever!" He huffed and sat back down on the couch. "I'm just uncomfortable!" He whined. "Oh.. I'm so sorry If I made you uncomfortable.. I didn't mean to.." you looked down feeling ashamed. You didn't realize that you made him uncomfortable. "You didn't make me uncomfortable. I just don't know how to react because I've never had feelings!" He held his head in his hands. You looked at him, feeling empathy for him. "Like what kind of feelings..? Like any kind..?" "Like romantic feelings." He pouted and looked over at you. He kissed your cheek and hesitantly grabbed your hand. Your face started to burn again and got speechless. "I-I have nothing to say.. You never had no romantic feelings..?" "I've never had romantic feelings before... I've always thought that I didn't deserve it, y'know?" He shrugged. You aggressively grabbed both of his cheeks and looked at him in the eyes. "What are you talking about? You do deserve it. You deserve all the love. I can't believe you said that. You deserve to be happy. I should've told you sooner but.." You shyly looked away. "I like you." "I don't! You don't know me and my private life, you don't know my job." He shook his head and sighed softly. You thought about it for a second. "What do you mean? You work as a hacker? I think I know you enough.." "No, that's not all I do." He shook his head and turned away from you. He couldn't tell you what he did. You would be in danger. "What do you mean, that's not all you do? What else do you do?" You asked with curiosity. You wanted to know more from him that you didn't know. "I... um..." he sighed and walked to the kitchen. He started to look through the cabinets and he hummed. You followed him into the kitchen and tilted your head. "Saeyoung." You said his name in a stern tone. "Yes?" He asked and looked back at you. "Is there a problem?" He tilted his head to the side. "Um, yes.. I believe there is a problem.. I'm glad you asked." You hesitated a bit and shook your head. "I feel like that you're hiding something from me.. Something that you're not telling me.." "I'm not hiding something from just you... I'm hiding something from everyone else too." He shrugged and leaned against the counter. "What are you hiding exactly Saeyoung..? Please tell me what are you hiding and why.." you came up to him and put your hand on his shoulder. "Nothing, I'm not going to tell you." He huffed and looked away from you. "I really can't tell you." "But why? Is it that serious not to tell me?" You sighed. "You're not doing something illegal or not doing drugs right?" "No, I'm not doing drugs." He shook his head and smiled nervously. "It's just really secret stuff." "Really secret? Like a secret agent or something?" You joked and looked at him. "Ha...ha." He chuckled and shook his head. "It's secret stuff, so please don't ask me about it." You slowly nodded and sighed in defeat. "Okay.. I won't.. I'm just being curious, that's all." "Thank you... one day I'll tell you but right now I can't, okay?" He pat your shoulder and smiled brightly. You nodded once again and forced a smile. "Okay.." "Okay, thank you for understanding." He smiled and pulled you close to him. "Of course. I'm sorry if I was being to pushy towards you.. I'm just curious. You hugged him softly and rested your hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, I know that you're curious." He sighed softly and looked down at you. You were so pretty that he's slowly melting inside. You sighed and still kept hugging him. More like clinging on him. You really care and love him so much that you don't want to let him go. "I care about you a lot..." he whispered and looked down at you. You're too good for him. He didn't deserve you. "I care about you a lot aswell. You're important to me. I hope you know that." You muffled on his shirt and still clinging onto him. "I know." He nodded and smiled brightly. "I just really don't deserve you, I have such a dark past." She lifted up her head to look at him and frowned. "What do you mean that you don't deserve me? And you have a dark past..?" "It'll all be revealed with time okay? I promise that I won't leave you in the dark but I'm just not ready to tell you." He leaned against the counter. "I understand.. but could you at least talk about it..? Just Isolating yourself is not making things better." You sighed softly. Your senses is kicking in again, and it's bothering you a lot. "I can't talk about it, you just have to trust me." He walked to the living room and avoided looking at you. He was letting you down. You followed him to the living room and stood besides him. "Why can't you talk about it..? It's obviously haunting you. Just keeping it to yourself is making you feel worse.. and it hurts me that you won't tell me.." "Just because I signed some papers and it has to be a secret." He sighed and looked back at you finally. "It stays a secret." You looked at him, didn't make a gesture. "So everything stays a secret? Like your job? Your personal life? Everything? Especially your past? Just because you signed some stupid papers, so you keep everything away from me and the rest of everything one else? I feel like I'm being with someone like either tells lies or just keeps their mouth shut." You slowly got a bit mad, but tried to hide it. "You don't understand and you never will, you don't know what my life is like and I'm trying to keep it that way! Okay?! So just stop snapping at me?!" He yelled and clenched his fists. "I'M snapping at you?! You're the one who's yelling! I'm just saying the truth! I bet it's the truth aswell! Why do you even keep that away from me?! Maybe if you can be considerate, and actually not be some mouse, things would go smoothly. But nooo. You have to be so stubborn! I want to help you, but all you do is pushing me away! That's it! Just pushing me away!" You yelled back and your eyes got a bit glossy. "You know what?!" He rolled his eyes and walked away from you. "Whatever! I don't need this and you'll never understand!" He yelled and grabbed his keys and walked out to his car. He didn't want to argue with you anymore, it wouldn't do any good.

Your POV
I watched him leave and groaned. "I can't believe this!" I slowly started sobbing and covered my face with my hands. I didn't mean to start an argument. I just got so stressed out that I yelled at him. Now I feel like crap. "I'm sorry." I whispered to myself, knowing that he wouldn't hear me.