A Greater Good (girlxgirl)

Car Trip

Jane pulled out of the carpark and onto the street. We hadn't spoken since leaving James, I think it was the longest amount of time Jane had gone without speaking. She had a nice car, it was clean and smelt good, and she was a terrific driver as well, if I didn't feel so uncomfortable with our relationship I'd be so relaxed knowing I could settle down and let her be in control.

"So... marriage," Jane said, breaking through our silence.

I rubbed my forehead trying to get rid of the tension. "Don't."

"Don't what, Everlyn?"

"Stop saying that, you know what you're doing. Please, just drive in silence, I don't want to get into it."

"Why not? Because you don't really want to get married?"

"That's not it and you know it!" I said angrily. 

"Right," Jane said non believing and turned onto the highway, I had to endure twenty more minutes of this. 

Silence resumed, I hoped my anger was noticeable but if it was Jane seemed unfazed by it. 

"What have you been up to then?" she asked politely.

I laughed. "Are you serious?"

She turned to me. "Deadly."

I thought before answering. "Not much, working, et cetera." I paused. "You?"

She shrugged. "Working... et cetera."

"Dick," I muttered and she laughed.

"You know we haven't been in a situation to talk like this in four years." She turned to me and smiled. "But who's counting?"

'You, clearly," I remarked, watching the road more carefully than she was. 

"Maybe because I want to move on?" 

"I know that you don't, Jane, you want things to go back to what they were like six years ago."

"I know that can't happen."

"So what? You're proposing that we forget about everything that's happened since then and move on?"

She hesitated. "Yeah."

I sighed and looked out the window for a moment. I couldn't think about that right then, I didn't want to. "You're doing well for yourself," I commented.

"Just because of my car? I didn't think you were so shallow," she teased.

I turned to her. "You really want to move on? Stop being such a jerk, stop making snide comments about James and I, you know nothing about our relationship, actually, you know nothing about me anymore."

She was silent and focused on the road before muttering, "Ok."

"Good."

"Does this mean I can be a bridesmaid?" she joked.

"No," I said firmly, maybe a little too harshly. 

"Good," she copied and I felt like laughing, James didn't have her sense of humour.

We turned onto my darkening street and I pointed out the house in case she'd forgotten. She pulled up in front and I didn't feel in a particular rush to get out and go into it all alone, beside me Jane cranked the handbrake up.

"So... your friend Clarissa..."

"Willing to do anything to you," I said casually.

Jane raised her eyebrows and ran her tongue along the tops of her bottom teeth, I felt hurt for some reason and I hated myself for it. 

"Don't just fuck her to get at me, Jane," I said seriously.

She scoffed. "I'm over you, Everlyn."

"Good," I said stiffly because I wasn't expecting it and I deep down didn't want to hear that at all.

"Don't be hurt, Ev," Jane said with a hint of tease, obviously sensing how I felt.

"I'm not." I collected my handbag from the backseat and put my hand on the door handle.

"Then why do you look hurt?" I didn't answer. "I thought you'd want me to be over you."

"I do... I don't... I'm not bothered," I managed to get out through all my stumbling, I smiled at her. "Thanks for the ride, I'll see you around no doubt." I got out of the car and started to walk up the garden path.

"I still think about you all the time!"