Seeing You Seeing Me

I've Seen Him

I'm so glad I didn't head over to Rachel's party last night. All I heard was that it was lame. I have no problem missing out on something like that, especially if there's no alcohol. And I mean, who doesn't like a little vape now and then? Well, technically, I've never vaped. But I've seen him do it. He takes the vape carefully out of his torn, navy blue bag, when he's standing against the walls of the school, and quickly takes a puff. He stares around, and you can see his crystal eyes dance as he takes in the whimsical feelings. He goes through a full rush and then stuffs it back in his bag, making sure nobody sees him.
But I always see him.
That's the funny thing.
He thinks he's so smart, and he thinks he's so quick, but really, it's almost as if he's in slow motion and I'm the viewer.
I don't stalk him or anything, I just watch him. Sometimes, I catch a glimpse of him in homeroom and I just can't seem to look away.
There's something so captivating about him. Something that no other human in the world has ever had. He just does things with so much passion.
We've never spoken any words to each other. We've never even had to do work together. I've always been so close to asking him to go out for a tea, or hang with some of my friends, which don't exist, or even just doing homework in the library.
I've seen him look into the library and laugh. Which was the funny thing. Why did he think the library was so funny? Was it the paint? Was the pictures hanging on the walls catching his eyes?
Or did I seem to draw his attention, with my curly hair and my computer glowing as I searched the web for what "biodiversity" meant.
I just never knew. It bugged me, but I let it roll off my shoulders because I knew that would be something that he would do.
He would pretend it never happened and laugh. He would forget and move on. Towards something else.
He was 5'6.
He had a strong build, maybe some muscles.
He had eyes that looked like smooth chocolates that you get from your aunts on Easter.
His hair was so perfect and soft. And he just walked like he owned the place.
He didn't know I knew all of that. He didn't even know that I was there watching him. Catching glimpses of him as I walked down the hall, or sitting three and a half desks down from him in math class.
He didn't notice all of the details I noticed. He never said hi, but I wasn't going to either. Saying hi would mean we would have to socialize, and god knows I would fail miserably at that, especially with him.