River Teeth

Being a Man Isn't Everything

"Oh my God," said Sabina, "How old is he?"

"My age. 18."

Brandi shook his head, "You kids really have your back up against the wall these days."

Kyle wasn't sure how true it was, but it was coming from a man in his 60s, with a lifetimes of studying the human condition, there had to be some truth.

"I just want to make sure he comes back to a safe place," something delicate bloomed in Kyle's chest, "You know... clean clothes, and food. We've been through a lot together our whole lives, and especially these past few months with my boyfriend, who is his best friend too, passing away. I think it would be nice for him to come back to something... nice. I don't know."

(what am i doing)

(why am i telling this to complete strangers)

"Kyle, why don't you read this part?" Sabina flipped a few pages in and pointed to a block of monologue.

Only flashes of fluorescent lighting, his mother standing over him, crying (something he's seen over and over again) , a doctor talking to him at one point to which he mumbled something like "tell my sister I love her," and he said, "you can tell her yourself" were what Kenny could remember.

They told him to sleep. Keep sleeping, you're running on fumes, get some rest. He slept on and off for 24 hours, the monotonous beeping of machines cradling him to sleep at times, other times they were annoying, keeping him awake. A nurse gave him an old iPod Nano and headphones to help.

5 am, Kenny woke the morning of his final day there. Karen was curled up next to him, asleep, arm across his torso, holding Kyle's hand, who was slumped over on Kenny's bedside, also asleep, his other hand on Kenny's arm. He blinked hard trying to refocus, see the shapes in the dim light of the room.

"Hey," he nudged Kyle.

"Hnn," Kyle stirred but didn't sit up.

"Kyle, wake up," he nudged a little harder.

"Wha?" He rose, squinting. He yawned, ran his palm over his face. "Hey... how long have you been awake?" he whispered.

"Just now. Have you guys been here all night?"

"Pretty much."

"They let you stay?"

"Of course. Well, kind of. Karen cried a lot."

"Oh, man." He looked down at his sister, still sniffling in her sleep. He hated that he had been unconscious for all of it, unable to console her calm Kyle, "Take her home, please. She doesn't need to be here."

"Right now?"

"Yes."

"But you just woke up."

"I know," Kenny whispered aggressively. "But she needs to go home."

Kyle hesitated. In the warm glow of the bedside light, his eyes looked gray. "I don't want to take her back to that house."

"I don't want her to go back either, but this setting isn't much better," he sighed. "And it's our home. It's all we have."

Kyle shifted and leaned forward, "Maybe it doesn't have to be anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"We could move in together."

"What? And live with your psycho dad?"

"No. I mean, we're 18 now. It could be our own place, and we can have Karen stay with us. Ike too. Make our own home."