𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. skz

iv ; anagapesis

anagapesis: no longer
feeling
affection
for someone
you once
loved

➮HWANG HYUNJIN

she was what he needed and yet she wasn't at
all.

hyunjin replayed the image of youra putting
her hand on dae-hyun's. he put her laugh
on repeat, as if it were a song from his
childhood that he had grown up with.

to say he was jealous was an understatement.
he was jealous of so many things. of her relationship,
of dae-hyun, of her life.

it was clear she was doing better than him,
a stable relationship, a job, she was studying too.

so much had changed. youra, the girl
hyunjin thought was going to die single had a
boyfriend, and she had been blushing and
giggling in front of him. in the four years he had
known her, never had she showed any symptoms
of being fond towards a boy, let alone being in love
with one. hyunjin had gotten a girlfriend who
he frankly didn't love, and now she was his
best friend, not moon youra.

strangers.

that's how it felt, sitting in that booth, next to his
girlfriend and in front of the girl he had been head over
heels for in high school. it felt like they were all strangers,
and dae-hyun was, but yeji and youra?

it felt foreign.

the feelings, the uncomfort. he was among people who were
contempt with their lives, and he didn't fit in.

was he greedy? he had yeji already, and was living with her.

so why was he whining? did he even get the right to complain?

six years. he had loved her for six years. dae-hyun
had only loved her for two and yet she was all over
him, like he was the only person she saw in the
world.

he wanted to tell her, wanted to save any chance
he could have with her, and that's why he
spontaneously pushed yeji's arm off of his chest,
snatching his hoodie and shoving it over his head.

and then he stopped.

he was going crazy. the moment youra had
stepped into his life, he had become a ball of self-pity,
greed, impulsiveness, and selfishness.

he didn't even know her address, and he was
thinking of barging into her house? what if her boyfriend opened the door?

she was taken.

he was too late.

so hyunjin went back in through the doorway and
closed the door shut, sighing.

who was he to act like his life was a k-drama? and
how could he think of another woman while his girlfriend
was lying right next to him?

he wanted nothing more than to be ignorant, to
think everything was fine even when it wasn't.
to think he hadn't changed, and that youra hadn't
either. to think he had always loved yeji.