Torn in Two

Chapter 6

      I'm not sure how long I sat in the bathroom after Blake stormed out. I rested against the door, my back pressed to the wooden surface as I stared blankly at the space in front of me in an attempt to get lost, to not think; I couldn't get his words out of my head. Because they were true, and I didn't want them to be. I didn't want to be the kind of person who selfishly only thought of herself, and yet here I was doing just that.

I was torn out of my thoughts by a knock at the bathroom door, my back vibrating against the surface. I stood and numbly opened the door to meet Jade's dark green eyes. I just stared at her before she enveloped me in her arms. At that moment I almost crumbled into the pieces I had slowly become, the amount of pain in my chest was unbearable but now I knew that Blake's pain must be 10xs greater and that just made it worse. I allowed myself to be led to a room and before I knew it we were in one and I was brought gently down on the bed. I looked into Jade's worried eyes.

"Marie, you can't be like this. It's not healthy. For you, or the child." she reprimanded me, but her eyes held no judgment, just pity.

I hated that.

I looked away, "You don't understand, Jade."

"I know I don't..." she stayed quiet for a long moment after allowing me to stare into the emptiness in front of me, "You reek of him, y'know. Your lip gloss is gone, and... and your hair.." Jade sighed sitting on a nearby office chair.

The floor became increasingly interesting as I avoided her gaze, "He followed me.. and..." I brought my hand to my lips and let my shoulders fall in an awed sigh as I thought back.

The kiss had been magical. Movie-like, and incredible. It was not only breathtaking, but the... The amount of fervor, pain, anguish... It was awe striking. It was painfully magnificent. It took all in me to accept I would never feel it again.

"Marie, I understand you have a husband.. Kids... But Alpha Blake is your mate. You know how much you dreamed of finding him, why are you pushing him away? You two are perfect for each other, literally." Jade was about to open her lips to speak again but I shot from my spot on the bed, taking a second to control la sudden bout of dizziness that accompanied.

I began to pace without meaning to, shaking my head in denial, "You make it sound easy." I snapped.

"It is. You're making it complicated, Marie."

I froze, ignoring the jab I felt at her words, I spun to her, trying not to think about the fact that my best friend couldn't seem to try and understand why I was being this way, "I love Luke! I like my life with him!" I shook my head, running my hand through my hair, "Why doesn't anyone understand that?!" I growled.

"I understand, but you know how much you can love Blake. You can love him in a way you will never be able to love Luke." she insisted.

I shook my head, "I love Luke, I love my children.. I can't do that to Jake.... I can't be away from Michael! And how could I separate Jake, and my unborn child from their father?" I rebutted, going back to pacing wringing my hands anxiously.

"Marie, you can't just only think of them. You also have yourself to think about."

"Are you telling me you'd choose your mate... Over the twins?!" I was appalled, moving away from her without even staring at her.

"No! Marie, that's not what I meant. Children in this world deal with divorces all the time! You did!" Jade stood up, hand on her hips.

"And I hated it! My parents were not only not mates, but my mother was human! One night together after my father's mate's death was all it took to conceive me, but they couldn't stand each other. I lived a life that to the werewolf community was strange and therefore I was strange. Divorce... It never happens among us. And.. And I can't have my kids traveling from pack to pack." I paused, "W-What if I can't see Michael anymore? I'll die. I swear I'll die without him. I raised him! He's my kid! And the thought..." I shook my head, knowing I was going into a rant.. But I couldn't deal with it; he was my kid. Divorcing Luke meant I had to give up Michael.. I had no rights to him since I wasn't his birth mother and that thought alone terrified me.