Tricks of Fate

Chapter 16

[Iris]

(9 months later)

I remember lying in bed, trying to drift off to sleep when the phone rang. Mrs Allen's voice shook slightly as she explained to me that Barry had finally woken up. I was shocked and soon began to get excited but that soon faded when she told me that Barry had amnesia. I sat there for the longest time, after she hung up, rethinking about the last 9 months of life.
I thought about the night he went into a coma. I was so excited to tell him that I was adopting Nora because believe it or not, in the short time we spent together I managed to develop an attachment to him. As I drove to the hospital that night I was happy but a tiny part deep inside me was out of my mind afraid. I was about to commit to being a mother. I was putting myself in charge of another human beings life. As much as I knew my dad and Cecil would help, I was essentially going to do it all alone. I was going to be 20 and a single mother and I had no idea what was going to happen. What if I wasn't ready? What if I messed up and ruined her life? What if I put her in danger? Billions of doubts drowned me inside and the fact that I didn't know how to get rid of them or who to immediately turn to, made me feel somewhat alone. But in that moment I looked into the rearview mirror, at the beauty with her little eyes glued to the window and the love I felt for her was enough to tell me that it was all going to be alright. As long as I showed her just how important she was to me I knew that I couldn't go wrong.

I was feeling a lot more confident after my one-woman therapy session in the car but when Barry asked to be her father a wave of relief washed over me. Not only was I not alone anymore but I would get to raise Nora with a man the both of us genuinely seemed to like and connect with. That's when I decided to take things into my own hands. I was falling for him. That was more than obvious to me so why not make him my partner in more than one way? When I finally kissed him it felt so right and meant to be. My body and mind responded like they'd known him forever and when he kissed me back with a matching sentiment, I felt invisible. I felt like nothing on earth could ever break me as long as he was by my side. Everything seemed to be falling into place, I was the happiest I'd ever been and then the next day it all came tumbling down.

I dropped Nora off at my dad's and went to see Barry. I was looking forward to spending some quality time with just the two of us but when I got there he was fast asleep. So I left him a note and made my way to college. As I left my last lecture the phone rang and when I picked up Dr Snow told me the earth-shattering news. Barry wasn't responding. He was alive, but he wasn't waking up and there was no way to tell if and when he would. I rushed over there and when I saw him still fast asleep on that bed my heart cried out. The tears that wet my eyes at that moment felt like acid as they burned down my cheeks. I had just got him. How could he not be mine anymore? I sat at his bedside, holding his hand and crying for an hour. In that hour I prayed. I prayed that he would wake up and that this was all a big miss understanding. I poured my heart out into the universe asking it to bring him back. Day after day I went back and repeated the same routine. Each time my eyes felt heavier and my prayers more desperate. Weeks passed, then months and my life outside of that hospital room carried on.

I attended my classes, diving head first into my studies cause I knew I had a life to support. Nora had changed the dynamic of my life completely. Whereas before I walked around with a backpack filled with newspapers and textbooks now you'd also find a travelling first aid kit, juice boxes and some sort of toy in there. Nora didn't talk much but she managed to tell me that she was four so I enrolled her into preschool and my morning routines then consisted of packing her a healthy lunch and getting her ready before paying any attention to myself. Six months in and I was running like a well-oiled mom machine. Nora wasn't fussy and knew exactly what to do so while I made our lunches (cause now I needed to take care of my health just as much as hers) she brushed her teeth and got dressed. I'd slip into the shower while she ate her breakfast and I drank my morning coffee while fixing her hair, (two braided ponytails seemed to be a favourite). After classes, I'd make my way to the library to get as much work as I possibly could (in an hour) done, before making my way to CCPN where I was doing a paid internship. It wasn't much of a salary, but when I added the little I made at Jitters over the weekends and what my dad contributed every month it was enough for us to live comfortably. Dad and Mrs Allen had made an agreement and Nora spent the week with Mrs Allen and the weekends with my dad and Cecile. They all loved her so much that it brought them closer together and soon the Allens and the Wests were practically one crazy family.
My father and Mr Allen couldn't be happier considering their history as college buddies and Cecil and Mrs Allen seemed to have found each other in their mothering natures.

Everything was almost perfect. Almost. The only thing missing was Barry. When the adoption was finally completed and I got to register Nora as my daughter I was over the moon, but apart of me was aching. That was the part of me that wanted Barry by my side as I hyphenated our surnames and made Nora officially ours. Mrs Allen cried with me that night when I showed up with the documents in my hand. She comforted me and connected with my pain cause she missed him just as much as I did but was just as happy that Nora was now apart of both our families. It was the very definition of a bitter-sweet moment. I went to his room that night like I did every night, but it felt different. Somehow seeing our names together on a legal document made it all so real. I held his hand and used my thumb to draw circles on the back of it while I took in his peaceful face. The tears came back and I tried to stabilise my voice as I told him how I felt.

"Hey, babe." I sniffled. "I have some news. I registered Nora today. She's officially ours. We all wanted to go out and celebrate but it wouldn't be the same without you."
His chest rose and fell as I got closer to him and laid next to him. I placed my head on it and I could hear his heartbeat. The sound brought me a little comfort and made me feel closer to him.
"I miss you." I cried. "It's crazy, I know, we haven't known each other all that long but I miss you. I don't feel whole without you. I need you. Please come back to me."
I laid on his chest for a few more minutes, sobbing uncontrollably, my heart contracting from just how much I missed him.

Fresh tears sprang into my eyes as I remembered it all. I couldn't believe he was actually awake. Without thinking I grabbed my cell phone and dialled his number. It rang three times before he answered. A gasp escaped my lips and I tried to silence it with my hands. It was him. It was really him.
"Hello?" he asked.
"Barry." was all I managed to breathe out as the tears ran down my cheeks once more, but this time they were tears of happiness.