Chasing Reality.

7 - Lakeside Therapy.

Clary soaked up the stillness of the morning. No conversations that pass over her head, no mindless smiling at people's comments and most importantly, no one was trying to make her feel better about her sight. Camp was just what she needed.

She took the now familiar path to the lake. Everyone goes haywire whenever she gets near the lake, fussing about the fact that she could drop, forgetting the fact that her arms and legs still work fine.

She sat just by the edge of the water and took a deep breath, the moist air and the call of the wild calmed the raging storm inside.

Ever since she got out of the hospital, the question loomed: what was she going to do with her life? At first, she got life figured out, even sent out multiple applications to school, took multiple tests, all to become a surgeon.

But the day Doctor Grey told her the chances of admission to a blind girl, no matter how intelligent, to study medicine and surgery was almost none existent. She cried her heart out on her hospital bed because all she wanted to be came crashing down.

At one point, she forgot but coming to camp, where she volunteered for the post of the nurse's assistant, only made things worse. Off course the post was taken away from her and it hurt like hell. While all her friends kept busy, either teaching or learning new things, all she did was seat around and tell stories to five year olds.

"What a life you live now Clary. There's nothing else for you to do. What now..." She voiced her doubts out loud, hoping she was actually alone.

You forgot about me Clarissa.

Clary knew that voice, she loved that voice, yet ignored Him. Not that she angry at Him for what happened to her, truth be told, she was grateful. If He didn't direct her, Jace and Michael would have raped her.

She ignored Him because she thought she wasn't strong enough for the next phase of life yet. Answering his voice meant she was ready to take up the next task, but she wasn't. Whether she answers or not His will would still be done.

"I didn't forget Lord. I just think I'm not ready for what would happen next." She spoke, her voice filled with so much doubt and fear.

For the thoughts I think towards you are thoughts of peace and not of evil...

"To give me an expected end. I know..." Taking a deep breath, she picked up her cane and readied herself to walk back to way she came.
"... But most times, It doesn't feel like peace."

Hearing the buzz of life for afar, she thanked God for the beautiful day, even though she couldn't see it and for the first time, no voice questioned her in her head about her handicapped life.

Today was going to be a good day. She could feel it in her bones.

"No mom, I don't want to!" Clary cried. After following her normal morning routine, on her way to another story session, she was intercepted by her mom. Turns out her mom had, without her permission, signed her up for art classes.

"Honey listen to me. I know you love telling stories but camp is all about trying new things. I'm sure you're going to love it." Rachel said with sparkles in her eyes. It was possible Clary wouldn't remember but she could vividly recall the times Clary painted by the beach.

"Mommy, look what I've done," An eight year old Clary said. They had all gone to the beach with her family. Her parents and brother were teasing her about getting the family of her dreams.

Little Clary came bouncing to her mommy with her painting. She had been at it for over an hour now and to her she was done, but Rachel thought otherwise.