Reviewed by Khloe
Story by heathma
Cover
I like this cover. Although I would say you don't need the outline and I feel like you didn't need to put 'written by Heathma' I feel like you should just have it small in the corner and also I am confused by the shadowy-figure-shape thing. what is it?
Description
I think that this should be spaced out a little bit more and there should be a full stop by 'world of blood and chaos' and that you should get rid of the however. I like how I know what this story is about though just from the description and I like how you have those questions. It makes me want to read on.
Story
One thing that is an issue for me is that you keep changing from first person to third and for me, it would be better if you put it just before so it's a bit like a POV change and so then I feel your readers would understand a bit more. I like where you are going with this story and I find it quite interesting if I am being honest although I would like to know some of her past in the orphanage but if you can't fit that in then that's fine and I am not sure if you have added it in as I only read three chapters in so if you have then please let me know.
Khloe xo
YOU ARE READING
Honest Reviews - CLOSED FOR CATCH UP
Teen FictionHi there! Need an honest review, you've come to the right place! We will happily spend hours reading your story to give you the best review we can offer :)
