Mending Hearts (Book 3)

Chapter 12

Sophia

The world stilled around us and the air seemed to thicken as we gazed at each other silently seeking solace. My lips still tingled by his bruising kiss and a blush formed on my cheeks as he buried his face into the crook of my neck. Inhaling deeply, he moved closer and his arms circled around me pulling me against his chest. My tense muscles instantly relaxed and I felt my eyes closing on instinct. My hands moved on their own accord to burry themselves in his thick hair feeling their softness against my fingers.

Massaging his scalp, I adjusted my head so I could look up at him. With lust filled eyes, he gazed down at me and a little smile took over his features making him look all the more handsome causing my heart to squeeze to the point where it hurt. Taking a deep breath, I untangled myself from him and flitted my eyes towards the ground instantly feeling guilty when a frown marred his lips. I didn't know where to go from here, do I just forgive him, or scar my heart forever.

"I- I can't do this right now," Turning to leave, I turned my back to him and tried to open the door.

His palms flattened against it, making me unable to move. Feeling annoyed, I swiveled around and hit his chest with all my might. Feeling unaffected, he moved closer and nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck making my already tense muscles all the more tense. Glaring off into space, I leaned away from him to give myself more space to breathe. My heart and mind were at a war with themselves, my soul wanted to put my arms around him and never let him go but my mind fought for the exact opposite knowing he could hurt me again.

"I miss you so fucking much Soph, I can't live on like this," His voice pleaded, shooting tingles up my spine.

Entwining our hands together, he bought them to his chest where his heart lay, beating faster as each second passed by. Listening to the beat calmed my nerves and my panicking state instantly relaxed as he began to gently rub my arms making me shiver unintentionally. Not knowing what to do, I pushed myself further into the wall bringing him with me. Without giving it a single thought, I brought him closer and crashed my lips to his.

A loud moan left me as I tasted his lips for the second time and he let out a groan in satisfaction as he burrowed his hands in my hair holding onto them tightly. To him, it felt like I could disappear any minute if he didn't had a hold onto me, but to me, it felt like my whole world began again after a long time and I realized what I've been looking for all this time. It was the hope that I could find it in me to forgive him.

Breaking away from the kiss, I took a deep breath, "I- I am ready, I am ready to forgive you but I need to hear what you have to say first."

His shocked state bought doubts to my mind but before I could dwell on them a bit longer, he pecked my lips, circled around and walked further into the room expecting me to follow him. Grumbling to myself, I forced my feet to walk and crossed my arms over my chest when he stopped near my bed. Motioning towards it, he beckoned me to sit down and once I did, he got between my legs and sat down on the ground.

Taking a startled breath, I brought my hands up to lay them on his cheeks and stroked them gently. Closing his eyes, he leaned closer to my touch and a little smile lit up his face. Just centimeters away from him now, I began to pepper kisses all over his face missing the warmth he cocooned me with all those times ago. Now, I could finally have that warmth back once I heard his side of the story.

Opening his eyes, his smile slipped off his face and I knew that at this moment whatever he was going to say would change my life for the worse or the better.

"When you told me you were pregnant, I was shocked beyond belief, all those bad scenarios kept playing in my head where our child would turn out like me and I didn't want that, I wanted them to have a better life, a better dad. I knew it was selfish beyond belief of me to do what I did to you and I get why you hated me, but you have to believe me, It wasn't my intention Soph, I wanted that baby more than anything, but I was afraid that he or she would hate me once they found out who their father truly was."

Not giving a minute to hear my input, he continued, "I was a drug addict Soph, no matter how much I tried to get help, I couldn't drop my old habits, but when I saw the broken look on your face that was the final straw for me. I promised myself to be a better man Tesoro but those awful thoughts ran through my mind saying how can I be a better father when I am a sadist?"

My confused eyes widened as my brain tried to piece the information he gave me. "S-So you were..."

He dropped his head in shame, "Yes I was into BDSM while being a drug addict and I was ashamed of it. I thought I was the worst boyfriend in the whole damn world to have these thoughts run through my mind of how I wanted to torture you."

My eyes widened even more as laughter bubbled out of me. All these times, I thought he didn't want the baby when it was the exact opposite. Staring at me confusedly, he rose his eyebrows as I continued to laugh. Seeing the serious look in his eyes, I cleared my throat and straightened up before I began speaking.

"Where do we go from this?" My voice came out shaky as I waited for his answer.

His brows furrowed even more, "Aren't I supposed to ask that?" 

Shrugging a shoulder I pondered my answer for a moment. "We have to take things slow and see where the wind leads us."

An idea popped into my head, "But before that, can we try, well you know that BDSM thing?" Red blossomed onto my cheeks.

His eyes connected with mine and the intensity of them made my toes curl, "If you want."

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* Snorts*. I swear these two are the most extraordinary couple ever but that's why I love them.

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