Mine? Yours.

Chapter 15

I woke up feeling dizzy, I looked around the room and noticed that I was in a strange, unknown room and I started to panic, I sat up and noticed that I was in a hospital. My mom rushed inside to calm me down, together with a nurse and a doctor, who then checked my blood pressure, my charts and such. They asked me how I felt „Like I got hit by a truck." I smiled remembering why I was here at the first place. I touched my belly, too afraid to even ask, but the doctor said „the little one is doing great." He had a warm smile on and I felt a huge relief knowing that my baby was okay, but then I remembered everything from the accident and-

„Oh my God, Jess!" I wanted to stand up but I felt an instant pain in my chest. Everyone jumped at me, pulling me down again „Jess is fine honey, you need to rest!" I nodded and looked at my mom „And where is-" She smiled „He drove to the airport to pick up your grandma from the airport, I will call him to let him know that you are awake." I nodded, whispering a „thank you" to her.

But before anyone had the chance to call anyone, I heard a familiar voice getting louder. „Rory Gilmore?! I swear to God if you don't point me directly to her room I will crush your insides myself and make a kebab out of them! No I won't calm down, do I look like Gandhi to you?" I giggled and yelled out „Paris!!! I am here!!" „Rory!!" She yelled back and walked inside, probably knocking down a nurse in her way. „I will let you two talk." My mom said and patted me on the shoulder. Paris looked around the room „This room looks like a cell in a Turkish prison, this will not be tolerated, I'm getting you a new room as of this instance Rory-" I grabbed her hand „Paris, thank you for coming." She looked at me, smiled brightly and sat down. „How are you doing?" I nodded „I feel fine, my body is probably under high drugs." She took a peek at my chart and nodded „Heck yes you are." We both laughed and then I remembered everything going on my life.

After explaining everything to her, not leaving out any detail I finally said „Paris, I don't know what I should do." I looked down at my hands, it was all so quiet since she closed the door. „Well... what do you want to do?" She asked me, of course she would. „I want what's best for my baby and to have a support system and-" She interrupted me. „No, that's not it... what do you really want?" I took a deep breath. „Coffee." I giggled and continued. „You know, when Logan and I were in Hamburg, we sat in this Café that an old Italian couple run, in the old town of Hamburg, it was beautiful, he knew so much about the history of the city and-" Paris placed a hand on mine and said. „Thank you for your answer Rory." At first I looked at her confused, but after a minute I realised that there was no escaping it, all I ever wanted was to escape the world with Logan, be somewhere, someone else, with him.

„The thing that we humans don't seem to get is that we choose all of our circumstances, there is nothing holding you to where you are right now. You're a writer Rory, a good one, but you can be a writer anywhere in the world, with whoever you want to be with." She said, calming me down, she really was my person. „But Paris I don't want to hurt either one of them." She shook her head. „But if you don't... you will hurt both of them, at best." I looked at her confused. „They are both bachelors, successful bachelors, do you really think they deserve to be treated this way?" Paris always had a very direct and honest way of telling me things, but she was the only one to do so straight into my face, only the dearest people in your life do that. She stood up to check her phone, „I'm getting you a room with a better view." I smiled, I was blessed to have someone like her with me. „And Rory..." I looked up at her. „You know what to do, you will do the right thing." And with that, she left on a mission, probably kicking a sick guy out of his room by now.

Jess walked into the room after Paris. „She is one scary person." I giggled as he took a seat next to me. „Rory I am so sorry, I didn't-" I shushed him quickly. „You don't have to apologise to me, It was an accident, things like this happen." He looked away. „Twice." „Twice?„ I asked, and he reminded me of the first time we got into an accident, it wasn't this major, but still. I nodded at his little story time. He took my hand „We need to talk Rory." 

I looked around. „Here and now?" He took a deep breath. „Yes. It is important." I sat up and he sat on the bed next to me. „I know you love him, that is something that I could never erase." His eyes seemed so sad, he was looking for the right words to say, but there weren't any. „But there is one thing I wasn't thinking of." He looked straight into my eyes, not looking away, not even for a second. „I love you more, and if it will take centuries to prove that to you, I will be here, I will stay and I will here for you." I bit my lower lip and finally broke the stare between us. „Jess, there is no space." I continued after taking a deep, long breath. „There is no space for anyone else, he has all of it." He looked down at his feet, a hurt smile was formed on his lips. „You will always be the one that got away for me Gilmore." He said. „Take care Rory." I knew, there was no between, there was no holding this for any longer, this is how things were suppose to be. It was hard letting go of Jess, he will always have a piece of my heart, I hope he takes care of it.

He stood up, kissed my cheek and made his way outside. Letting Jess felt like the right thing to do, but letting someone go like him, was never easy. He wanted everything, I couldn't give that to him. I saw all of my things on the table, someone has brought me a wide selection of unfinished books that were laying round in my apartment. I took one and started to read it before hearing a knock on the door, I put the book down to see Logan, standing there with the probably biggest bouquet of flowers known to men kind. 

„You robbed a botanical garden?" I asked with a smile. „And a chocolate factory." He said holding up chocolates in the other hand. „Well if this isn't a sight of a perfect first date." I giggled and he walked inside. „I'm sorry I couldn't be there when you woke up, your Grandma had just landed and she wanted-" I nodded, reassuring him that there was no need in trying to explain Emily Gilmore to me. „Ace I'm so happy that you're okay." „Me too." I said with a little laugh. He saw the tired look on my face and probably decided to drop anything else that he wanted to say and stood up probably wanting to give me space to sleep.

I took his hand then. „Stay. Please." I said and moved a little, showing him that I didn't want to be away from him. He smiled and laid next to me, playing with my hair as I laid on his shoulder. „You are so beautiful Ace, I could never get tired of looking at you." He said, with his voice warm and comforting, he had me in his arm he placed a couple of kisses onto my forehead. „Logan-" He wanted to silence me, probably not to waste my energy on speaking, but to recover fully, but I resisted „Logan, I love you."

And I was convinced, that nothing I have ever said felt this honest and real, I was with him and nothing else seemed to matter.