Peter Parker One-shots

Peter Parker Funny Bits

Tony is alive in all of these. Infinity war who? Endgame who?

When I use the ******** It is the end of a bit. If I use %%%%%%%%% it means it is kind of like an add on to the bit.

These are just some bit's/funny bits I felt like writing since I need a bit of a laugh after last night. We were celebrating me hitting a quarter of a million reads when my dad had another of his episodes last night so I am still trying to get my mind back into writing.

I don't know if you want to know or not but my dad has something called functional neurological disorder. He looks like he is drunk when it is triggered and acts like he is drunk.

He also drinks so its kind of hard separating the two.

I just want to give you a real reason as to why I may not update often or have problems with the updates.

Here's these funny bits though.

**************

I was tired. There was no denying that. 

I was into the classroom with my books in one hand and a very large glass of coffee in the other. Everyone turns to me and I frown, so what if I was a bit late? I got forty minutes of sleep.

"Mr. Parker?" Ms. Porter asks and I look up at her.

"Yes?" I ask in a monotone voice.

"This is American History," Ms. Porter says and I give her a duh look.

"So?" I ask and Ms. Porter frowns.

"You have me next hour," Ms. Porter says and I shrug.

"Close enough," I say and sit down.

***************

There was something about Peter Parker that most people don't know. 

He sleepwalks among other things. 

He can walk when asleep. He's been known to invent things. He goes for strolls on ceilings. And he bakes and cooks.

Tony was always concerned but May told him to just guide him back to bed. And never wake him up while he is walking around.

That is why Tony is awoken by FRIDAY's voice at 3:42 AM.

"Sir, it appears as if Mr. Parker is sleepwalking again," FRIDAY says and Tony rolls over.

Tony gets out of bed and ends up in the living room where Peter is on the ceiling. 

"Hey bud, let's get back to bed," Tony says gently and Peter grunts.

"Yeah, come here," Tony persuades.

Peter slowly walks across the ceiling and halfway down the wall when he stops. Tony sighs and reaches up and tugs on him gently.

"Come on bud, almost there," Tony tries again and this time Peter drops like a stone with Tony barley catching him.

"Let's get you to bed," Tony says and carries him back to bed.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Peter was back at the sleepwalking. Only this time he decided he wanted cookies. 

And that's why Tony found him at 2:18 AM covered in flower and other cooking ingredients, holding an empty bowl with a pile of flower, eggs, milk, and other things under it. He was also stirring the empty bowl with a whisk.