ethan: good night angel
ethan: i'm sorry i wasn't able to text you yesterday
ethan: something came up
I see the messages light up on my screen with his name. I smile slightly, but apprehension quickly covers my happiness.
What am I supposed to say back, especially when it's bright morning?
me: good night ethan
ethan: i know it's late but can we talk?
A feeling of dread settles in my stomach and I instantly start worrying. Does he know it's not me? I could have easily messed up somewhere already. I probably don't talk or text like the girl, and my throat closes up.
ethan: it's nothing serious, don't worry :)
ethan: just want to reconnect and get to know each other better!
Relief washes over me and a small smile appears over my face. But it dims when I think, he doesn't realize I'm lying to him, yet. But I refuse to let it take over my happy mood.
me: of course!
me: how was school?
I start off with an easy, safe question. Hopefully, he's not suspicious at all and I can manage to glean some facts about him.
ethan: oh, it's the usual
ethan: do you remember mrs. wilson?
ethan: she's my teacher now for science
The name sounds vaguely familiar again, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
But what's more confusing is how he thinks I should remember her. We clearly have a time difference and he's probably on the other side of the world. How would I know his teacher?
That's when I realize, I shouldn't remember her. The other Ashley would remember her, but I wouldn't.
This is so paradoxical and confusing that I'm already confusing myself on the second day. I have to start keeping all my facts straight and knowing exactly what I'm telling him. I need to remember that I am not the Ashley he loves.
If I don't, I will mess up. And I can't afford to mess up, at least not yet. This whole charade is giving me anxiety and I'm already second guessing every word he says, as well as overthinking what I should reply.
me: yeah i do
I keep my answer short and simple. Affirmative. If he's bothered by it, he doesn't let on.
ethan: you had her for ninth grade, right?
ethan: she moved up to teach us now
me: yeah, i did
Hopefully the other Ashley did. I notice how he doesn't exactly state his grade and wonder if it was unintentional or if he thinks that I would know. Considering how he seems to assume I know a lot of things about him, Ethan is probably in the same grade I'm in.
me: so...
I hedge at a conversation, hoping he'll say something again. I don't dare make any assumptions, and that leaves my question asking very limited.
ethan: do you want to call?
My fingers immediately tap out, "no", but I can't say it outright. I need an excuse to why I can't call, but at the same time, I really do want to. But then he'll immediately know it's not me once he hears my voice.
me: sorry not now, it's late and everyone's sleeping
I feel slightly guilty that I can't, but my sense of self preservation prevents it from growing.
ethan: that's fine
He doesn't type anything after, and I feel that he's upset.
me: hey i'm sorry
me: i just don't want to disturb my parents
ethan: it's okay
ethan: maybe sometime later
The conversation comes to a standstill at this point, and I don't know what to add on. Neither does Ethan, it seems, with his small grey bubbles disappearing completely. I close out of the messages screen, hoping that he'll continue it as usual.
Putting my phone off to the side, I turn the volume up so I can hear the notifications if he decides to text me again.
I decide to go back to my homework, which was what I was previously doing before he had texted me. But all I can think of is Ethan and his texts, and I find myself always glancing back at my phone in hopes that he had messaged me, but to no avail.
He doesn't text back, and for some reason, I find myself disappointed. I put down my pencil and reach for my phone, checking my screen to find no texts.
My fingers itch to type out something to Ethan, to continue the conversation, but I don't know what to say again. Besides, he might not even be angry and he's just sleeping. Whatever the reason, I feel like he would be the one wanting to talk to me.
Still, I don't want to end it on such a note.
me: goodnight ethan
I set my phone down and go back to my homework. Just as I start again, my phone chimes. It's a reply from Ethan.
ethan: goodnight ashley
ethan: i promise i'll text tomorrow
I smile at his words and leave it at that.
YOU ARE READING
The Art of Pretending
Teen FictionWhen Ashley Lee receives romantic texts from a boy that aren't meant for her, she answers them under the pretense that she is the girl that he originally meant to text. As their relationship furthers and it becomes harder to keep up her facade, she...
