The Art of Pretending

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"So, are you going to tell me what was that all about?" Zach hissed lowly as we watched Ethan leave. 

I shook my head mutely, an endless cacophony of emotions swirling in me. It's like each emotion is a snowflake and they're all piling up into snowdrifts, leaving me feeling cold and numb and too hot with no way to clear them out.

Ethan turns back to look at me at the cafeteria door, and he waves as he finally steps out and away.

I wave back, but he doesn't see it. I sigh, leaning back into my chair as the events finally caught up to me, making me drained already so early on in the morning. I feel like I'm constantly tired all the time, and I don't know why.

Even though I didn't need Zach's help with my wheelchair, he kept insisting that he would push me back and I relented. The journey back to my room is silent, and I can't tell if Zach is mad at me or not.

When we reach my room, he glances at me. "Don't run off again by yourself like that, okay?" his voice is gentle, but I can hear the underlying urgency. "You could've hurt yourself and naturally I assumed the worst. Also, it really reflects badly on me and-"

"I'm sorry," I reply, feeling ashamed. I'm horrified at the thought how my actions might have had consequences on Zach. "I won't do it again, I promise."

Zach gives me a tight smile. "It's alright," he responds, then sighs and drops his uncharacteristically serious demeanor. "So, you still like him?"

"It's so complicated," I complain. "The entire story is messed up."

"The best ones are. I have time."

I shake my head, smiling. "No, you don't. At least I don't, I'm going to meet my mom today. I think she's going to bring me lunch."

"That's great, Avalon." Zach grins as he bustles around the room. "At least you won't have to eat gross cafeteria food, right?"

"That's true. And call me Av, please." I had thought it through and while I don't hate my new name, it still makes me uncomfortable whenever I hear someone call me Avalon. Still, I can't ask them to call me Ashley, so I settled on a nickname.

Zach's only response is another grin and a slight arch of an eyebrow. "Av, huh?"

"Yeah." I nod, liking the way it sounds. "Better than Avalon, right?"

"I don't know about you, but I personally think Zach is the best name," he jokes. "Anyways, I've been talking to Dr. Phillips, and he thinks it could be a possibility for you to get discharged soon."

I gasp, excited. "Really?"

He nods as he walks up to the small counter in my room, shifting around the countless papers and folders scattered upon it. "Your injuries are healing well, and you seem to be able to maneuever around on your wheelchair by yourself, as we've seen from today's events."

I look up at him, worried that I'm going to get in trouble for that again, but Zach is only teasing with an easy smile on his face. "Say no more. When can I get out of here?"

"Your mom's here today to discuss a treatment plan, I believe," he responds, looking at a piece of pale blue paper. "She's just going to be signing off a bunch of waivers and discussing matters with Dr. Phillips." Zach looks over to me, capping the ink pen in his hand. "And we're going to go out."

"Out?" I ask, confused.

"We're gonna go for a quick stroll down a block. I figured it'd be good for you," he says, smiling up at me.

"That sounds good," I agree. "We should stay in touch even after I'm gone." Pushing myself to my small bedside table, I flip over my phone and glance at the texts Ethan had sent me this morning. "What's your phone number?"