Why Not?

Chapter Twenty-One: Hearts Cool Quickly and Betrayal's A Bitch

You smiled, Wade was your favourite for a reason. He was usually pretty funny, and he always stood up for the kids, unless it was a matter of safety. This, apparently, didn't seem to be a matter of safety and Wade thought you were completely fine and far from endangering anyone. Hearing that in his voice made you feel a lot better than you had waking up, and some of your panic went away.

"So... what did I do after I blacked out then?" You asked, surprised at how quiet you were being. Then again, it was really hard to follow the conversation. It was kinda like they sounded farther away than they were, and you were kind of zoning out.

"You just startled Steve and Bucky with some violent questions last night. You were reading his mind very violently, so your eyes were glowing as per usual, and it was dark so they didn't know it was you right away. They were very alarmed in their vulnerable state so they attacked you. You've been out for three days without anyone aside from Bruce, Tony and Stephen to see you. We called Fury yesterday to ask what to do since Bucky doesn't... " Clint paused, trying to find the right words.

"Randomly turn into a psychotic animal like you," Steve growled. (Much to your amusement.)

You smiled, "Wow, so venomous, Steve, I'm hurt. Truly." then mockingly snapped your jaw in his direction, laughing only moments afterward.

After another breath, you thought for a moment, realizing what you'd just heard about you doing. You weren't actually psychotic... were you? Your smile dropped and you were no longer looking at any particular person, but more so at the ground. You really like Steve and Buck. they were a cute couple, and they did a really good job of making sure Chloe was taken care of, and they loved Katie just as much, even if she wasn't technically their responsibility.

A sigh left your lips, "Look, Steve, I really don't mean to randomly freak out, and you should know that I've been working on it." You lick your lips. Huh, they're chapped. Not surprising. "And I'm glad you love Bucky enough to see past his flaws, but ignoring them is just plain ignorant." You look up at Steve now, starting to feel the anger again as he looks back at you, his eyes cold.

"I was with James while he was busy being the Winter Soldier. He trained me as his understudy for a long time, and if you really think that he didn't have control of himself back then I honestly feel sorry for you." You were lying, all you could feel was rage, but you didn't care. You'd feel sorry for him later.

"Bucky raged out just like me, if not worse. He had little to no control over his mind back then. It literally took him years of mental torture and assistance to get to where he is today with you. Now I'm glad that you love Bucky and I'm happy that he trusts you, but doing something so..." You were raising your voice now. You didn't mean to, but you also didn't really care. "So childish and fucking revolting! James was like a really scary father to me when I needed it and dismissing all of his progress, while trying to take a swing at me? Wow, Mr. Fucking America would he be ashamed of you! That's probably why he's not here right now, huh? You sent him away so he couldn't sympathize with me and try to defend me?"

Nat gave you a look you had yet to see and couldn't quite place. "Y/n, that's not--" You cut her off. Right now, there was nobody with high authority on your side, aside from maybe Nick Fury who still had yet to say something.

"Can I go now? I'm tired." despite the fact that you'd been out for three days (which, now that you think about it, kinda shocked you) you hadn't really slept. You were unconscious, not resting, not sleeping, unconscious. The more you listened to everyone talk to you, the more you just wanted to curl up and sleep.

The seconds passed by, and the room was silent. Every moment just weighed you further down. Fury was looking at everyone, who were just staring at you. Eventually, he and Tony locked eyes, and they nodded.

"Y/n, go rest. We'll call you to a whole team meeting later." Nick jerked his head in the direction of the door, and you took that as you que.

With that, you sighed, standing up and halfway through realizing you had a lot less strength than you realized. You stumbled and fell, which had Steve immediately on his feet to try and help you.

You could feel your eyes glow with anger as your gaze met his within a millisecond of him moving to help you.

"Don't fucking touch me." you spat, almost choking because it felt like you had broken your finger when you landed of your hands and you'd started tearing up.

Now, saying this any other day probably wouldn't have made Steve back off, but the sheer betrayal in your voice, the pure rage directed solely towards him, and the fact that you had choked up with tears in your eyes caused him not only to back off, but also caused him to regret the past three days of hatred he'd held towards you.

With that, you somehow managed to push yourself up and walk to your room, only daring to cradle your hand after you rounded one of the many corners of the big, now pretty empty mansion.

Sleeping wasn't easy at first, but once asleep you didn't dream (a true gift from whatever God was up there). Instead, you were in the void, softly breathing and actually relaxed once.

You were at peace.