April's Heart

Air, Space and Perspective

So finally she felt she had found peace until she realized the anniversary of Kenny's deception was sneaking up on her.  As the leaves began to change, she remembered how they crunched under John's feet as he left with the box of Kenny's things.  That's when the idea for the "celebration" was born because as much as she wanted to believe she was over him, that kind of pain finds a way to sneak back into the heart.

Now though, with her friends gone, the drinking felt less celebratory and more sad.  April pushed the glass away and stood up from the table, wobbling a bit before steadying herself.  Kenny didn't deserve this.  He didn't deserve one more tear, one more moment of her time.  She stumbled through her living room and out into the hall.  She needed to fill her lungs with the crisp autumn air.  She needed to be out under the stars.  She needed to feel unencumbered and free. 

Once outside she leaned against the door of her building.  Feeling suddenly sober she stared up at the stars.  The sky was clear and the longer she watched the heavens the closer she felt to them.  Almost as if she had been lifted from the ground and was soaring upwards.

"Are you alright?" 

A man's sudden question brought April spiraling from space back to earth.  When her eyes finally focused on him, she saw an impeccably dressed very confused looking gentleman standing before her.  He lived in the building and this was one of the first times she'd ever seen him not yelling at someone in Korean over the phone.  If he wasn't yelling he was shyly passing her, head down with only seconds of eye contact.
"Sorry," April said, moving to the side so the man could gain entrance.  But he didn't open the door.  Instead, he took her place leaning against it looking up at the sky.  Now she was confused.

"It's a beautiful night, isn't it?"

April smiled and nodded in agreement.  The man's dark eyes twinkled, reflecting the light of the stars.  He took a deep breath then turned to her extending his hand.

"I'm Jae. I think we live on the same floor."

"We do.  I'm April."

She gingerly placed her hand in his, the warmth of it reminding her how cold she was.  She had drunkenly stumbled out of her apartment in a t-shirt and jeans.  No jacket, no shoes even.

"So, April, what brings you out at this time of night?"

April considered lying so as not to sound as pathetic as she we quickly starting to realize she was being but when she opened her mouth the truth came spilling out.

"I was dumped by someone I really loved this time last year.  So, I was drinking to...I don't even know, I guess dull the pain.  Anyway, I started to hate myself so I came out here for some air and space and perspective."

"Did it work?"

"Yeah, I think it did.  I feel much better."

Jae nodded and closed his eyes, resting his head back on the door.  He was obviously going through something as well and though she was getting colder by the second, April hated to leave him alone.  Suddenly, though, as if reading her mind, he stepped away from the door.

"You must be freezing.  Here." 

Quickly he punched the security code into the keypad and opened the door for her. 

"Thank you," she said, stepping inside.  He leaned on the door watching her.  She stopped before going in catching him staring but he didn't look away.

"Will you be ok?" she asked.  

He grinned, as if touched by her concern for him.

"I will.  I just need some air, space, and perspective.  Goodnight, April."

"Goodnight, Jae."

April turned and headed for the elevator that she did not remember riding down.  After a few moments she heard the lobby door close and she looked back to see Jae's silhouette through the frosted glass, leaning and looking up at the stars.

Once in her apartment, April busied herself cleaning up the mess she and her friends had made while celebrating.  She tried not to think of Jae but every time she thought she heard a sound come from the hall she ran to her door and peered out the peephole.  There was  something  about him that kept him on her mind.  His sudden openness was surprising but welcome. Though a few hours earlier her apartment had been full of people she had very few real friends so the small amount of contact she had with Jae had been meaningful.  She hoped to bump into him again soon and found herself blushing at  the thought.   

This went on for an hour, her diving for the door every twenty seconds, until she couldn't clean or stay awake any longer.  After one last peek into the hallway April went to bed and for the first time in a year, her last thought before falling asleep wasn't about Kenny.