LOSS

CHAPTER 3

The dinner table was awkwardly silent. Nobody spoke, only the sound of silverware could be heard.

"Remember the project I was telling you about?" Barry asked as he shoved a spoon full of rice rice into his mouth. He was trying to fill in the silence and  I think he succeeded.

He doesn't talk to me about work anymore. He was mistaking me for the other Selena.

"You don't talk to me about work"
He choked.

"Daddy here" Mariana said hurriedly trying to hand him her glass of water. She sought his attention more than anything in this life, more than toys and it broke my heart that she never got it.

As expected, Barry ignored her and poured himself water. I took the water from Mariana and thanked her before taking a sip. She looked so sad but she managed to offer a small smile. Her little heart was breaking and this is where I draw the line.

"Mari baby can you go to your room? I'll be up in a minute" I said calmly. She nodded and looked at her father "Good night Daddy" she mumbled and raced to her room. I knew she was going to cry.

"You have to stop treating Mariana like she doesn't exist" I snapped immediately I heard Mariana's door close.

"Don't even start. I am not in the mood for your hassle" he said annoyed.

There he goes again mistaking me for someone else. I have never nagged or fought with the fool, I was so stupidly in love and I let him have his way in everything. I didn't want to give him a reason to leave me, yet somehow being a good woman to him wasn't enough.

"Are you mistaking me for someone else Barry? Because in our twelve years of marriage I have never snapped at you" I reminded him.

He eyes bulged and he swallowed seeming to realize I was saying the truth. Then his expression changed to one of anger.

"Don't be ridiculous. I don't know how you do it but even in your silence you do a lot of nagging" he snapped.

I laughed. I actually laughed. I was married to a fool. A big giant fool.

"Are you hearing yourself Barry?"

"Yes I am. And you know what I'm saying. Always manipulating me with your stupid good woman act. We never fight Selena, you're just too damn good for that" he said hotly

It was like he was waiting for an opportunity to fight with me. Really? Me being good to him made me the villain in his book. All the compromises I made for him crossed my mind and I felt like a simpleton.

"Just please stop ignoring your daughter" I begged weakly. I had already lost the fight before it begun. I wanted to cry and I didn't want him to see me cry.

"Ha!! Isn't this rich. I should stop ignoring my daughter? That child isn't my daughter" he yelled at me.

My hands moved on it's own and I slapped him.