FALLING AROUND YOU ➵ DANIEL SEAVEY ➵ SEQUEL

11 ➵ Don't Let Us Fade Into a Memory

"Are you kidding me? For over a year, I watched you sulk and sulk because of your regret of leaving him to go to London. It's exhausting hearing about this! I'm sick of your sob stories when the solutions are so simple! You just never take a risk!" hidden words finally vanquished off Christina's lips. I could see the fumes in her eyes, and I honestly couldn't be more surprised.

"It's never simple!" my voice screeched, "Every time I have him, I lose him. First time, there was Kendra. Second time, it was my own devouring fears, and now, it's because of the media. Don't know see it? I can't have him– never!" my voice cracked, "Right when I think I have him in my finger tips, he's gone."

"Be selfish, Sienna! For once be selfish and take him! That's why you keep on losing him! And, that's why you keep on losing yourself in the process! You're always pining for him to come back to you, but you never take him when you have him," her voice had a taste of poison.

"I can't Christina! I can't take him because I know he's better off without me!" I snapped feeling a single droplet drip down the hills of my face to my neck.

Christina stopped, "What do you mean?"

"I still crave for him– I still need him, but he's always going to be better off if I'm out if his life. I hurt him and I hurt him, and I just can't stop! Whatever I do or whenever I try to work on us, it never works," I heard my voice on the verge of breaking, and I think Christina did too, "You don't understand what it feels like to want someone so badly, but you know your nothing, but poison to them. It hurts more than heart break; every time I hurt him, I feel my soul break a little more, and because of that, I fall apart too easily to keep him here."

The raven-haired girl stayed quiet unknowing of her next words. Christina's mouth opened a couple of times to speak, but I knew she didn't know the right words to say. My vision was just to the floor as I finally admitted the things that have been a prisoner in my thoughts.

"I–I didn't know. I'm so sorry, Sienna. I didn't know you felt that way," Christina softened coming closer to me.

"I know you said for me to stop being so selfless around him, but I've been fighting for him for too long, and I'm tired. I'm exhausted. It's draining me, and maybe that's why I feel like I'm losing myself. I'm losing myself because I'm constantly reminded of this false hope that Daniel and I could be together again," my head rested on my headboard. All these jumbled thoughts fell onto words, and it felt more relieving as I said it out loud.

"You're giving up?" Christina asked with her words fragile.

"I just can't keep hurting both of us anymore. I mean, Daniel isn't even here, and he still has the ability to make me fall apart." I paused, "It's not giving up. It's knowing when you've had enough. It's knowing that you don't need to take it anymore, because even though it looks like love, it feels a lot more like pain. It's knowing that things aren't going to change and it is no longer worth holding out hope. It's knowing when to walk away. To move on. To let go. To take the first step forward. I've put this off for far too long, and I know it needs to happen."

"Are you really leaving? I mean, going back to London in three weeks."

I honestly didn't know. A part of me knew I should go because at least it would give me distance between Daniel and I, but I wasn't just going to run away from my problems this time. I've done it many times– I knew I had to face them. This time I might not be scared of falling in love with him, but I was afraid of hurting him– like the dozens of times I have.

"I have to go," my words were short.

"Wait! Sienna, where are you going?" Christina followed me to the door.

"My favorite place to think." I put some flip-flops on before opening it. I gave her a toothless half smile before shutting it quickly.

There was only one place I could think of to clear my staggering thoughts. My footsteps rattled the hotel floor as it wasn't as loud the thoughts devouring my head. I didn't want to call up Louis, so I just decided to walk. I didn't mind much as it would clear my head anyway.

I knew I told Christina that I needed to move on, but I knew that was easier said than done. There are still so many things I want to say to Daniel, but I know every word would just make it harder on both of us. We each need to learn that the universe is telling us that we aren't suppose to be together, or was it a test seeing how far of a distance our love would travel.

Quickly, I ended up at my favorite spot as I sat down. It was the same place Daniel and I had our last happiness moment before I left for the first time. It was also the same place where we made things official. It should've been a sin to be here when I was trying to clear my head, but the only person that could make me feel like myself again was the very person that I needed to distance myself from.

There were a couple of rings from my phone in my bag, but I put it on silent not wanting to disturb the sounds of the waves. It was the only place I could think of to calm myself down. He might have been out of sight, but he wasn't out of my mind. I could close my eyes and there he was. I think of him. I dream of him. I miss him. As much as I hated it, Christina was right. I still loved him.

I looked back into my bag noticing the small leather notebook hidden under a jumble of other items. I pulled it out quick with a pen as its partner before opening it up to a blank page. Now more than ever was the best time to write as my thoughts were colliding with each other. I couldn't seem to ever have him, but I could always write about him.

For a quick moment, I looked back into the face of the ocean. As the sun kissed the moon and the sky melted into the sea, and I learned that I'll be able to go on, even without you. I needed to learn how to. Suddenly, my full attention was drifted off into my writing as sunlight was suffocating from the air into nightfall. I didn't notice the walking people around me or the families packing their things back up to leave. At that moment, it was just me and my journal.

"Writing about me I hope," he chuckled as my posture stiffened.

It was him. I already knew it without turning around. His voice was so intoxicating, but I wanted to hear more. It was almost foreign to hear it out loud, and I truly missed it. The young Seavey was like a ghost– living in my thoughts, but never truly around. He couldn't have known I would have been here, yet someone could have told him, and I already know who did.

Christina.

I shut my eyes not ready to face him, but I craved to see him. My body turned around slowly to meet with those familiar baby blues making me crack a smile with just him being here. His outfit was simple with a sweatshirt and short– it almost looked rushed and shaggy. As I was engulfed in his eyes as staggering as lapis, he sat down by my side.

"Please don't give up so soon." those were his only words before he put his hands on mine still keeping eye contact. It was like if he looked away, I would vanish and disintegrate into the wind.

"Daniel, I–"

"Please don't let us just fade into a memory."

–

hey everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and i'm finally on summer break, so i'll be able to update more frequently. this is the first time in a longg time that i wrote a chapter in one sitting, and let me tell you it took me almost two hours. if you guys didn't know, i actually based charlie looks wise on beck oliver from victorious or even leo howard. it doesn't matter i like to keep characters for you own imagination. i don't know why, but i thought they had a good description for charlie. anyways, i hope you enjoyed this chapter and please leave a vote and leave comment!