Taking Control

Chapter 3

I get home and slam the door shut behind me. I stomp into the kitchen and over to the sink to wash the blood off my hand. My knuckles are scratched up and already swollen. The warm water burns like a bitch. Once it's clean I take a few paper towels and gently dab my hand dry. I take an ice pack out of the first aide kit, crack it and put it on my knuckles. I walk in the living and sit down on the couch. I can't believe I let that asshole get to me. I know he's always had a thing for Regina but I try not let it bother me to much. I guess today was just a bad day. Damn. I hate disappointing my wife. I sit on the couch for a few hours and think of what an idiot I am. I hear the front door open and close. I look at the clock and it's 10:30. I hear Regina's heals clicking against the hardwood floors and I don't look at her as she walks in the room. "How's your hand dear?" I still have the ice pack on it. "It's ok". She sits down next to me and takes off the ice pack. My knuckles are more swollen with a light shade of purple, black, blue and pink. "Oh Emma. What the hell were you thinking, why did you let him push your buttons like that?" "I'm sorry Regina. I don't know why I acted like that. Usually I can just blow it off, but this morning I just blew up". "You made more paperwork for me Emma. I'm not very happy about that". I don't say anything. "I had to start a file on this Emma. I spoke to my secretary and she told me everything Glass said to you". I just nod. "I also spoke to the others that were there to witness what happened. They all say that what Glass said was out of line, so much so that I may have to take action against him for sexual harassment for saying what he did to you". I just nod again. "Emma you've been sitting here beating yourself up haven't you". I shrug. "Jesus Emma. Will you please use words. This one sided conversation is frustrating". I let out a big sigh. "I don't know what to say to make this better. I fucked up and now I'll probably have a few weeks suspension, that is if I'm not fired. It's a terrible position I put you in. Not only as the Mayor but as my wife. I'm sorry. That's all I can say and sorry doesn't fix anything". "Well dear we can all talk more about this later, now we have to leave for my doctors appointment". "Huh. You really still want me to be apart of this?" "Why wouldn't I want you to be? You are my wife Emma". "I just thought you'd be mad at me and not want me to go with you". "I was upset that my wife got in a fight right outside my office but that doesn't mean I love you any less or that I don't want you to be there to hold my hand when the doctor gives me the results of my blood test". She leans in and kisses me. "So let's go before we're late". I nod and we leave together. I pace around the doctors office while Regina sits in the chair and flipped through a magazine. "Why is this taking so long. She said she would be back in a few minutes. It's been almost 20, and how can you just sit there so calm?" "Darling please calm down. The doctor will be here soon. Please just sit down with me and hold my hand. I feel all alone with you walking around. I really need you Emma. Please". I look at my wife and I see how red her eyes are. I immediately go to her and kneel beside her. "Oh baby. I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking. I've been doing a lot of that today. I'm here babe. I'll always be here". I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight. "What if I'm not pregnant Emma, What if I'm not able to have children?" I pull away a bit and look at her. "Sweetheart. We will deal with that when it comes to that. Ok?" She nods and I hold her again. Then we hear the office door open and close. "I'm sorry that took so long. I wanted to make sure we got everything correct". I stand up and sit in the chair next to Regina and hold her hand tight. "Ok. So Regina. You said that you took two pregnancy tests at home and they were both negative?" We both nod and Regina says. "Yes. I'm hoping that I did it wrong or the tests were defective". "Well defective tests do happen but not usually that often. It could also mean that you were to early in pregnancy for the test to work effectively". "Dr. Lewis do you have the results of Regina's blood tests?" "Yes I do". She looks down at the paper in front of her. "I'm sorry to say that the test came up negative as well". I don't think I've ever been this disappointed in my life. The woman I love the most in this world just got her hopes shattered. "Baby I'm sorry. I know how much you were hoping for another outcome ". She gives me a half smile. "Dr. Lewis I've been on birth control since I first started getting my period to help regulate them, is there a chance I may not be able to get pregnant because I've been on them for so long?" "There are some studies that say yes and there are some that say no. Every woman's body is different. Some have been known to get pregnant after only forgetting to take a few pills, others stop taking the pill and don't get pregnant after years of trying. Now, With all that said. Last week I gave you a full physical and everything looks wonderful. You are young, healthy and you take good care of yourself. You eat correctly and exercise regularly. As of right now I can't see why you would have any problems getting pregnant". For the first time I see a smile on my wife's face. "Really?" She asks the doctor. "Yes Regina. It may take some time after you stop taking the pill but I'm optimistic". Regina looks at me and smiles. The three of us went on to talk for a while about temperature taking and following ovulation times. By the time we walked out to the car our heads were spinning. I open the car door for her and she gets in. I go over to the drivers side and get in. I look at Regina and she has no expression on her face. "Well that was a lot to take in wasn't it babe?" "Yes it was". "Do you have to get back to the office babe?" I look at her and she's just staring out the window. "Babe?" I put my hand on her thigh and gently squeeze it to get her attention. "Babe. Are you ok?" "Emma I'm sorry. My mind is just.... everywhere. What did you say?" "I asked if you had to go back to work". "I do, but I don't think I can. There is no way I'll be able to concentrate on work. Perhaps we could stop by my office to pick a few things so I can work at home later". "Of course babe. Anything for you". I lean in and kiss her and I drive off towards the town hall and she calls her secretary and asks her to get a few things ready. I pull up of front and she just sits there in a daze. "Babe. I'll run in and grab everything for you. Ok?" "Yes thank you". "Ok. I'll be right back". I kiss her and get out of the car and sprint to the front door and take the stairs up to Regina's floor. I walk into the hallway and look around and only see Regina's secretary. I walk over to her. "Hello Mrs. Swan-Mills. I have everything right here for the Mayor". Mrs. ok ? That's the first time she's called me that. Usually it's Sheriff. Maybe she knows something I don't know. She puts all the files in an carrier bag and hands it to me. "Thank you". Before I leave I have to say something to say her. "Look. I'm really sorry that you had to see me act that way earlier. It was completely unacceptable and unprofessional of me, not only as the Sheriff but as the wife of the Mayor. So I am really sorry if seeing that affected you in any way". She looks surprised at my words and smiles at me. "Thank you for that Sheriff. I appreciate the apology. I think I'll be ok". "Great. Thanks. I better get going Regina's in the car. Have a nice afternoon". She smiles and waves and I head back the way I came. I get back in the car and Regina is spaced out. "Ok babe. I've got everything from your secretary. Do you need anything before we go home?" "No thank you dear. I just want to go home please". I start the car and drive us home. I pull in the driveway and turn off the engine. I grab Regina's things and get out of the car. I walk over to Regina's door and open it and hold my hand out to help her. "Emma. Do you think it's even worth it?" I pull my hand back and kneel down next to her. "What do you mean babe?" "Maybe you were right before. What do we know about a good family? Maybe me not being pregnant is a sign. What if I treat our child like my mother treated me. Or what if your afraid of getting close to the baby because you weren't able to get close to anyone because you were in the system and went from home to home". I put my hands on her face and gently turn it so we are face to face. "Regina, sweetheart. I love you. There is no way I would not be here for you and all of our children that we are gonna have. The day I met you my life began. The first time we kissed my heart started beating. I was alive for the first time with you and the thought of a child that is ours made my heart feel warm. We can do this Regina. We already know what not to do, now all we have to focus on is love honey. Just love". We both are crying and she lunges to me and I take her in my arms. She cries hard and I can't help myself from crying harder. "Baby we can do this. It'll be ok". We hold on to each other for a few more minutes till I say. "Ok babe. Maybe we should go in the house now". She pulls away. "Ok my love". I stand up and she gets out of the car and we both walk into our home.