Between Worlds (The Wall Series #1)

Chapter 4

I couldn't say anything. I only nodded. Her voice laced with concern and her soothing words of comfort somewhat loosened the tight knot in my chest. I took a deep breath like she had instructed and it made me feel stronger, bolder. She gave me a new rod to hold on; the rod of strength, courage, and most of all, patience.

"I love you, too," I finally croaked. I couldn't say anything else. I wanted to thank her, I wanted to apologise, but nothing came out of my mouth.

The rest of the journey was spent in silence. I'd quickly push away thoughts of my mother every time they came to me. We reached the hospital in a few minutes, and went back to the same empty corridor where we had sat previously. But this time, there wasn't the flicker of hope I had before, the hope that my mother would be fine.

I shivered, my heart trembling with uneasiness. What if I wasn't prepared for what I'm about to see? I certainly hadn't been prepared to receive the news.

A body lay on the hospital bed, under the white sheet, unmoving. I knew she was there. I needed to see her. Maybe nothing had happened to her. She was fine. I came closer and slowly pulled the sheet to see her face, and I touched it. Cold. 'Mom?' I said shakily. No response.

I squeezed my eyes shut. Stop. Just stop. Don't imagine it. Just don't.

The same doctor we had talked to earlier was waiting for us outside the room. He shook his head when he saw me.

"I'm sorry," he said. "We tried our best."

I could sense the sympathy in his voice. I gulped, holding back the tears that once again had erupted in my eyes. I could only nod in response. Mrs Janet put an arm around my shoulder.

"Come on," she said. "We should go inside."

I saw my own reflection as the doctor opened the half-glass door. We stepped inside. I squinted my eyes at the glare of the fluorescent lights on the white tiles. My eyes travelled up to the only bed in the room. A body lay on it, covered with a white sheet just as I had pictured it. Keep it together. Don't lose it. You can do this.

I forced myself to move forward till I was right in front of the bed. Till I was right in front of her. As if to distract myself, my eyes wandered to the monitor beside the bed, and the instruments kept on a silver tray. To the far right of the room, the long, cream-colored curtains reminded me of my own home.

"Amy," Mrs Janet prompted me. "You have to see her. One last time."

"Right," I said. I never thought I'd hear those words. Never.

My hand trembling, my heart beating fast, I slowly pulled the sheet off her face.

It was the first time I'd seen her after the accident. Her pale face, her eyes shut forever, her lips white.

I can't do this.

I pulled the white cover over her face quickly. I turned around, and with my head bent, tears threatening to spill over at any moment, I bolted out of the room, not heeding Mrs Janet's repeated calls.

Maybe Mrs Janet had made me feel better, but nothing in the world could've prepared me for this. Nothing. I thought of getting out of this miserable hospital that I'd begun to hate but then decided against it. So I barged out of the room but stood, just outside, hands covering my face, crying my eyes out. I can't handle this. No way. This wasn't even meant to happen. How did this even happen?

How did it happen?

The doctor might have an idea. She couldn't just leave me like this, could she?