𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒

journal one; entry four

"i cut myself today. 

no one found out although i didn't wrap it.

probably because they didn't care. 

no one cares." 

-jjk (190429)

jeongguk walked in and sat down in his designated seat beside kim taehyung, the boy he wanted to talk to. the boy he liked, the boy he wanted to be with forever, the boy he was afraid to ruin. he never socialized with people because it was only going to amount to more problems. 

so when taehyung turned towards him and gave him his boxy smile and once again said that he wanted him to talk to him all jeongguk did is stay quiet and turn away. he was afraid, afraid of this world. but what he didn't notice is taehyung's gaze on his arm and the little stains of blood on his sweat shirt. 

taehyung blinked rapidly, making sure he wasn't imagining things and that the blood that was quickly seeping through jeongguk's sweat shirt near his wrist was real. quickly taehyung grabbed jeongguk's other wrist and pulled him out of the classroom and into the bathroom. 

as soon as the door was locked taehyung walked towards jeongguk, his jaw clenched as he backed the two into a corner. he didn't look at the younger but he did grabbed sleeve of his sweat shirt and pulled it down to reveal ten cuts down his arm. 

"why are you doing this to yourself." 

"because its my only escape." jeongguk froze when he realized he spoke. 

taehyung didn't criticize him about the cutting because he knew that's not what jeongguk needed to hear. he wanted jeongguk to experience a warm and loving care, instead of one where everyone's yelling at him and trying to make him feel worse than he already did. that's not how it works, love and care. nurturing is what he needed and now that taehyung knew this that's what he was gonna give him. 

"wh-why a-a-are you d-doing this ta-taehyung?" 

"because it's what you need." 

"why are you so nice to me. 

and how come you make me feel all tickilish inside. 

i don't like this feeling. 

i don't like this type of change.

i can't handle change."

- jjk (190429) 7:30 PM 

(A/N: I personally don't believe yelling and screaming, and making someone who does self harm feel bad will be any good. As I think it makes them feel worse than they are already feeling. They aren't dumb they already know what they're doing is wrong. What they need is someone to show that they care for them and aren't gonna make them hurt even more. That's why I don't like when I read stories involving self harm and the main character is yelling and making the other feel bad. Focusing on the bad isn't going to do any good in life and I feel that's our problem these days.)