✔It's all about you • BTS/Stray kids✔

chapter 11

"Why are you so out of breath?" Chan asked laughingly as he opened up the door to his studio. "I ran here" I answered, not wanting to worry him any more than I already had. Luckily enough he seemed to have bought the story and laughed. "Did you want to see me that badly?" he asked teasingly as he poked my cheeks. I pouted and went past him inside of the studio, ignoring his comment, making him laugh even more.

I plopped down on the couch, sitting down with a sigh. Chan sat down next to me with an arm around my shoulder, pulling me towards him and making me rest on his chest. I was a bit taken aback by his sudden affection, but didn't question it at all.

"Y/N, can we talk about what happened when you were gone?" he asked worried and careful. I let out a sigh, not knowing how to answer. My smile disappeared, but since he couldn't see my facial expression he didn't notice.

"I'd rather not talk about it" I said with a sad hint in my voice. Chan sighed. "Y/N, I know talking is difficult, especially when something bad happened. Even though actually saying it might be hard, it really helps progress what happened.

"Chan..." I didn't know what to say. I wanted to tell him, to ask him about it, but a part of me was stopping me, telling me not to, but I wanted to, I wanted to so badly. It's like my heart was being torn apart, it hurt so much, what was I supposed to do?

"They told me" I finally said. I didn't know if trusting him was the right decision, but I couldn't do anything else at the moment. "They told me, about me being royalty, about how you guys were assigned to try to become king, they told me everything!"

Hot tears were streaming down my face, finally letting out all the frustration that had been build up the past few days. My whole body instantly weakened, my heart being even more vulnerable. Chan couldn't say anything, as if a cat took his tongue. He wasn't saying it was true, but he wasn't denying it either.

"Say something!" I yelled out in frustration. I just wanted to know the truth. Chan's grip on my arm became tighter, as if he was trying to pull me even more towards him, which was practically impossible at this point. "Chan!" I cried out. When I finally got to see the look on his face, a terrible feeling washed over me. He was crying. Silently, but he couldn't stop the tears.

His expression was shocked, hurt, it was clear he was unable to answer. When he finally came back into reality he quickly dried his tears and looked me in the eyes. "I think it's time we finally talk about this" he said. I've never seen him this miserable in my entire life.

"You're right" he said with a sigh. "You're right, we were assigned to do so, but it's not like that right now, gosh Y/N!" As he spoke those words, my mind went completely blank. My life really had been a lie? Was their kindness all for act?

He now moved his hands to my shoulders, making me face him. "Y/N, look at me." His voice was demanding, yet full of love, of care, but was that a lie as well? I looked down at the ground, not ready to face him, because I knew that the second I looked at him, I would start crying again.

"Y/N, I said look at me!" He was on the edge of breaking down, his words were barely even hearable. When I still didn't look at him he moved his hands to my cheeks and lifted my face up, making it impossible for me to not look up at him. His eyes were completely red from the many tears he shed.

In a blink of a second, my whole world was turned upside down. He smashed his lips against mine, expressing all the feelings he had in that kiss. I closed my eyes as two more teardrops fell down. A kiss was supposed to be magical, so why was this one so sad?

When he moved away again, his eyes never left me. "Listen to me. It's true that we were assigned by our parents to do so, winning over your heart. Yes, I planned finding you that day, but things changed! You aren't just an object to win, we genuinely care about you! None of us care about becoming king anymore, all we care about is you Y/N! We were afraid of you going there because we know that they'd try anything to make you turn against us, but we don't want to lose you Y/N. You mean so much to us, we don't care about the rest!"

Truth is, I saw this coming. I knew that I'd do anything possible to forgive them, because in all honesty, I don't want to lose them either. Even if it was all for play at first, they were the ones that gave me back my happiness. "Chan, please tell me the whole truth, and only the whole truth. About my childhood, your mission, everything! I-... I don't want to lose you guys either, but how am I supposed to forgive and forget when you're still holding things back from me?"

Even though he was happy to see I still cared about them, he still looked awful. "Y/N, I want to tell you, I really do, but I can't. I just can't" he cried out. "Why?" I asked softly, yet sadly. "Why is it that you can never tell me anything? Don't you trust me?" Upon hearing those words he vigorously shook his head. "I trust you with my life, but knowing will only make things worse. If you know the truth, people will come after you, you'll be in a lot more danger, and the last thing I want is you being more hurt than you already are!"

My breath stocked. "I'm begging you Chan. I don't care if I get hurt anymore, but please! Please tell me, I need to know." After some internal battling, he finally seemed to have made a decision. "I'll tell you, the whole story, but not now. Please trust me on this, it's really for your own good! Trust me okay?"

I nodded disappointed. I hoped the plan would work at least a little faster, but I guess I had to keep on going... Chan softly stroke my hair. "I promise I'll tell you, I wouldn't lie to you about that, so let's go back home together okay?" I nodded silently, not wanting to talk anymore. Chan moved in once more, quickly pecking my lips. "Just don't leave me okay?" He asked with a sweet smile, making me smile at least a little in this miserable situation. "Okay."

Hearts captured: 3/8