Room 303

Chapter 4

"I am deeply sorry for the inconvenience, but this is a normal procedure," he said pointing at the straitjacket. "This institute has strict protocols that we all have to follow."
"Why am I here?" She asked without hesitation. By now she had already concluded that this was a mental institute for sure.
"I will explain all the details. Please have a seat first." He gestured towards the seat opposing him on the other end of the bureau. He asked the staff in the room to exit. They did as they were told.
"Rachel, don't you recall anything before you came here?"
"No I don't, are you going to explain why am I here?" She pressed.
"Of course. I need you to stay calm while I explain to you everything. Please feel free to ask questions whenever you want." He continued "before you were moved here, you had an incident that was alarming."
"Moved here?"
"Yes, you were at the local hospital by the time we were informed of your arrival to our institute."
"Why was I at the local hospital? What had happened to me?"

"Nothing alarming physically. Seven days ago you were admitted to the hospital after you got into a fight with your husband. There was a big argument over something irrelevant as told by your husband. You then started smashing plates and cups in his direction. He tried to stop you, but you started screaming hysterically. Your daughter ran into the kitchen to see what was going on, and that was when you broke free from your husband and shoved a plate towards her. The plate just missed her, then Kevin jumped and forced you down to the ground. You accidentally hit your head, but the hit was minor and no injuries were sustained."
"This is insane! It is impossible! I would never hurt my daughter or my husband."

"Please calm down Rachel and let me continue. Later on that night, you were admitted to the hospital, and the staff did a good job at keeping you calm and stable. As one of the nurses was making a routine check, she found you in the neighbouring room standing next to a patient's bed. You were trying to suffocate the patient with a pillow. The nurse called for help and they were able to get you off the woman and back into you room. Luckily enough the woman did not die."
"No way! This can't be true. There must be some kind of misunderstanding. I would never do that."

"I am afraid that was what happened."
She swallowed hard and deep. Sweat started running down her face at the thought of what she could have done to her husband, her daughter, and the patient. Tears ran down her cheeks. She was about to throw up. She felt sick trying to digest all the information at once.
"There has to be a mistake. Something is wrong. I am never capable of hurting anyone especially my daughter. I love her more than anything in this world."
"Mrs Hamilton. I understand your frustration. Many people suffer from mental disorders during their life time without even knowing it. The good news is that we discovered it before it was too late."
It was the first time he called her by her husband's surname.
"Before it was too late?"
"Yes, I meant before you could have had the opportunity to hurt yourself or somebody else."
Rachel sat there silently trying to understand the situation she was in. She swallowed hard and focused on the tears that ran down her cheeks and dropped onto her tangled hands.
"Here take these pills. They will help you calm down." He handed her two pills that she took without even asking what they were. She wanted the pain to go away. She wanted the guilt and suffering to go away at that very moment. She felt broken inside.

"Are you familiar with the term Schizophrenia?" He continued as if she hadn't had enough for one day.
She sat there listening to him unable to say a word. Her body was still in shock.
"Schizophrenia is a chronic mental disorder that affects how a person thinks, feels and behaves. A person also sees things and does things that he or she doesn't have control over. This might all be difficult to understand, but we are suspecting that you might be suffering from that. Further tests and analysis are yet to be done to confirm or possibly exclude such diagnosis. As I said, nothing is certain at the moment. We need to carry out further medical tests to confirm that. You might be even suffering from more than one disorder at the same time. This is very likely. Someone is going to come in and take a blood test in a minute. Are you ok with that?"

She looked at him with teary eyes. "I don't remember taking any test. I am not crazy. I am not mentally ill or whatever you call it. I have never experienced any delusions or whatsoever. You need to let me out of here now. I need my family!"
"Mrs. Hamilton. We are here to help. I am afraid that you can't see your family yet. Not before we make sure that you are no longer a threat to them."
"I will never hurt my family!" She stood up banging her fists on the bureau and looking him straight in the eyes.
"Of course you wouldn't," he said with a smile. "Our conversation is over for today Mrs. Hamilton. My staff will escort you back to your room after they withdraw some blood. As I said earlier, we are here to do whatever it takes to help you."

Rachel recoiled back in her seat frustrated. She tried to rake her brain and remember anything at all from the days before she woke up, but nothing came up. Stella and Patrick entered the room. Stella had a needle in her hand, an empty tube, and a tourniquet. She extended Rachel's arm and tied the tourniquet slightly above her elbow and searched for a blood vessel. Rachel focused at the doctor's chair which was now empty. He had left the room. She felt the world spin around her. She was devastated. It was just the three of them now. Stella took a blood sample and carefully deposited it in the tube. The whole procedure took about a minute from preparation to end. She placed a cotton and a band aid on the punctured skin on Rachel's arm.

"Shall we go back to your room?" She asked nicely. Rachel stood up and walked towards the door.
"Wait please. We need to put on the straitjacket," Patrick said. By strapping her they took away whatever little freedom she had.
In her room, Rachel sat down on the mattress and stared at the wall. The idea of what she might have done was still traveling around her body like an electric current.
"Rachel, are you alright?" Asked Stella. Rachel looked at Stella with eyes full of tears. She could see the concern in her eyes.
"Stella come on we have to leave," said Patrick.

Rachel shifted her gaze back from Stella to the wall. Tears rushed down her face like a river as she heard them shut the door.
She opened her eyes. They felt heavy. It must have been the pills the doctor gave her. "Kelly my baby, what are you doing here?" She said to her girl who was standing at the far end of the room. "Come over to mummy and give me a hug. I missed you so much." Kelly wouldn't nudge from her position. Rachel forced herself up on her legs.

"Stay away from me," Kelly said.
"Honey, what is it?"
Rachel froze in place not wanting to scare her. She looked down at her hands. It must have been the straitjacket that was scaring her off.
"Honey this is nothing. It is just some weird clothing system they have over here. Don't be afraid I would never hurt you." Tears rushed down her face as she took a couple of steps towards Kelly.
"Yes you will. You are going to hurt me. I don't trust you."
"I swear to you darling. I would never hurt you. I can't remember ever trying to. Please honey you have to believe me."
"I don't believe you. Stay away from me."
Rachel couldn't keep herself away. She ran towards Kelly wanting to feel her close to her. She fell down on her knees in front of Kelly, head bowed down, and begged for forgiveness.
"I never meant to hurt you. I swear it to you. I love you more than anything in this...." She looked up and Kelly was gone.
"Kelly?" She looked around the room searching for her. "Kelly? Kelly, where are you!" She screamed out loud.
"What the hell is going on here?" said Maria as she peeped through the glass on the door.
"It is Kelly, my daughter. She was here a minute ago. Please bring her back to me. I need to see her. I need to talk to her."
"There is no one here. Go back to sleep."
"No, no, no, please you don't understand. I just spoke to her. She was here with me in the room. Please let me see her."
"I will come and put you down myself if you don't shut the fuck up. I told you there is no one here. Not your daughter or any other fucking person. Now go to fucking sleep." She hit the door with the baton. Rachel automatically retreated and fell back on the mattress. I am scared. I am so scared. I need to go home.