The Bridesmaid

Chapter Fifty Six

PLEASE READ. [edit]: okay the comments in this chapter are really starting to get to me. if you've never experienced a miscarriage, if you've never been put in a similar situation or even witnessed a similar situation, you don't have the right to tell Areum how to react or to feel/grieve. [tbh even if you have witnessed a similar situation you can't tell someone dealing with trauma to deal with it the same way, or in a way you'd prefer]

I, myself, have never been in such a situation but have done extensive research to know that a miscarriage is traumatic (obvious even without having done any research) and has lead to expecting mothers feeling suicidal and has led to relationships being strained. I absolutely hate seeing comments on how Areum is being selfish or that she is to be blamed for the situation when miscarriages in situations like this are nobody's fault. I've written that Areum blames herself because that is a very common reaction for women who have experienced a miscarriage. Feeling like their body has failed, feeling like maybe if they would've done something differently, the outcome would've been different. Areum is young and is completely new to this whole situation. Obviously I have dramatised this portion of the book because this IS a book nevertheless, situations like this happen more often than you know and it's alarming to see how many of you are pinpointing Areum's flaws when it's so obvious she is going through a psychological torment. Not one person reacts the same when going through trauma so for you to expect her to act rationally is unfair. I really hope you guys treat the women in the real world with more empathy and I wish that your frustration in the following chapters is only because these characters are fictional.

Double update. Be sure to read Chapter 55 first.

F I F T Y  S I X

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I stood in the living room, staring at it as I convinced myself that this was the right decision. The need of punishing myself getting stronger with every breath I took. The negative thoughts now at it's peak, everything from my past being used against me.

Reminding me how I've been nothing but a failure. As a girlfriend to Jae. As a sister to Aera and as a daughter to both my parents. And now not only a failure to Taehyung but a failure as a mother to my babies that could never be.

Taehyung came home, getting a little surprised upon seeing me in the living room but his expression goes dark the moment his eyes land on the ground. "Areum, what's going on?" His eyes trailed up my form as they found mine.

"I'm moving out." I let out, my eyes downcast as I avoided his gaze. I stared at my bags on the ground, feeling my eyes sting and I try my best to hold it back but fail the moment a pained expression crosses Taehyung's face.

"What? No, Areum-"

"I'm sorry, Taehyung." I whispered. "I can't keep failing people." Tears pooled around my eyelids as they threatened to drip. "That's all I've ever done and I need to stop. I need to leave."

"Areum," he sighed but I raise my hands up, motioning for him to stop.

"I can't stay in this relationship and be constantly reminded of how I went wrong. I can't do it." I gasp for a breath and Taehyung approached me.

"You didn't-"

"No, tell me that I don't deserve good." I cut him off, placing a finger on my chest. "I don't deserve people understanding me. I don't deserve you understanding me." I say but he shook his head, trying to walk closer to me. "Tell me that I don't deserve you, Taehyung!" I pushed against his chest and he moved back, a little taken aback.