Becoming Determinant - Tobias' Story

Original Chapter - Uriah

He swallows hard, clearly unable to say anything yet, so I keep talking. "Oh well. It shouldn't end up mattering. The first simulation is typically the longest, so I'm sure your average will be fine without this one." I give him a tight smile.

He still doesn't respond, just sitting there with his eyes as wide as bowls. Come on, Uriah, figure out what I'm doing. But unfortunately he's not nearly as smart as Tris.

I point to the camera in the corner of the room and wave at it, reminding him that we're being watched and can't talk freely. "But say hi to your brother anyway. He should know that you only took about six minutes to master your first fear. I'm sure that's a lot better than he did."

Uriah's eyes find the camera, and I watch as everything finally clicks into place for him. As he suddenly gets that I'm not turning him in, that somehow, despite how I acted in his imagination, I'm saving his butt. He waves weakly at the camera, panting a little as if he forgot to breathe for the last minute.

"Anyway," I say in a voice filled with complaint, "I guess I'll have to repair the computer before the next round of simulations." I stretch my back as I get up, trying to look like I'm stiff and tired of sitting here.

"I think I'll take it to my apartment to do that," I add thoughtfully. "It's more comfortable to work there." As I begin disconnecting myself from the equipment, I continue, "Uriah, do me a favor and help me carry all this stuff. That'll save me a trip."

His eyes jerk back to me, and he stares for another moment before nodding, clearly still at a loss on how to react to everything. But when I begin handing him items, he takes them willingly, and he lugs them behind me to my apartment without comment.

We set our loads down on the floor, for lack of anywhere better to place them in my small apartment, and I close the door and lock it before turning to Uriah.

"You don't tell anyone about this, understand?" I tell him fiercely. "Not even Zeke."

He nods, his expression terrified. "Yeah," he manages to say, finally finding his voice again. "I know how dangerous it is."

"Clearly," I comment drily, "or it wouldn't have been in your fear simulation." I glare at him as I add, "That can't happen again."

"Yeah, I know…" he says quietly. "But…I don't know how to stop it."

I sigh, running a hand across the back of my neck.

"That's why we're here," I tell him pointedly, gesturing toward the equipment. "You're going to practice until you can make your other fears appear instead, even if it takes all night."

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It becomes obvious after the third try that Uriah can't hide this fear through sheer willpower.

"All right," I say as he ends the simulation again, looking around wildly. "Let's try something different." I pause, thinking about how to word this so I don't reveal my own Divergence or the fact that the tips I'm about to share originally came from my father, as he prepared me for my aptitude test.

"The computer takes whichever fear is strongest in your mind at the time it starts," I begin. "And it builds a simulation from that. If you can focus your mind on something else you're afraid of right as it begins, maybe the computer will pick that up instead."

"But I don't know what else I'm afraid of," Uriah says, his voice a bit desperate.

The answer aggravates me. It's not that it's an unreasonable statement – it's just that it's been a long day, and I'm trying so hard to help him, and he seems to be impossible to help….