How Did I Ever Love You?

Chapter 8: Road of Blood and Cuts

Sensitive subject matter here.
This is where things get rough won't be mad if you leave

3rd person pov

England fell on the floor after finishing his homework and laid there for a good few minutes, desperate to not let anymore tears flow from his eyes.

"I wonder what France thinks I'm doing right now..." he thought out load, staring at the ceiling blankly. The atmosphere had a certain feel to it, a feel that England didn't like very much, so he stood up and walked into the bathroom door right across from his bedroom.

"I'll just take a shower I guess..." he said to no one as he turned on the water before taking his clothes off and tossing them to the side. Once the water stopped being -400 degrees, England stepped in and just sat down sadly. The truth was, he really didn't need a shower, but it felt nice. He tilted his head to the side and honestly couldn't tell if it was water or tears next to his eyes. After a while, it was obvious that there was water in his eyes so he reached for a rag to wipe it off, unable to see very well. He felt his fingers brush up against something, but thought nothing of it. All of a sudden, England felt a sharp pain in his hand. Confused, and a bit worried, he looked down and saw his finger was bleeding heavily.

"What the hell...?" he muttered as he poked at the cut gently, wincing slightly at the pain. He thought that he must have just accidentally rubbed up against a razor, although instead of immediately cleaning it, he had a different idea. Standing up, England reached his arm outside the shower curtain and grabbed a small cup that sat next to the sink. He filled it up with water and began squeezing his finger tightly. He felt like his breathing quickened when he realized just how much blood razor cuts produce. Every time his skin was fully covered, he used the blood to dye the water in the cup red. England giggled at the sight, feeling like he just made a revolutionary discover. After a few minutes, not enough blood was coming out, well not to England liking.

"That can't be it..." he thought as he looked at the cut closer, now noticing the broken layers of skin that looked like they needed to be ripped off, so that's what he did. It hurt like hell, but it made him bleed more. By now, England wasn't sure the water he had colored could get more red, it even left behind stain when it came in contact with something. It tasted and smelled metallic, which was obviously to be expected, but England still smiled excitingly.

"What is wrong with me?" he whispered through occasional laughs. A few seconds of silence passed, and England stepped out of the way of the stream of clean water and poured the bloody one over his head. He thought it felt amazing to be covered in his own blood, he knew it was a bad idea to use his own, but he'd rather die than hurt someone else for it. Leaving his finger unintended for a while caused it to start dripping red, so England took the opportunity to write on the walls. Using words that kids at school called him.
"Weird"
"Insane"
"Creepy"
"Annoying"
The last words he didn't even mean to write, because no other person had ever said it to him other than himself. Though he wrote anyway.

"Kill yourself"

*I am so sorry*