A Year Around the Sun

t h i r t y-s i x - it's not meant to be

"Noah," she tried protesting. Her voice was threatening, but it didn't do anything to stop him from sitting with us.

"What?" He asked innocently. "The ottoman is too uncomfortable."

Jodie rolled her eyes, her half-eaten slice of pizza sliding around on her paper plate as the three of us scooted down to make room for him. "I forgot how much of a child you are," she grumbled under her breath. Noah still heard her, his eyes narrowed in a glare for a few seconds before he snatched her slice right out of her hands and took a giant bite from it.

The rest of us were cracking up at their argument that ensued from Noah nearly stealing Jodie's slice of pizza in one bite. My head was on Sadie's shoulder, my ribs aching from how hard I was laughing as the two idiots kept going at it.

"Wow, I missed this so much," I sighed once I caught my breath, and Sadie agreed with a giggle.

"Oddly enough, I did too," Caleb chuckled from where he was stretched out in the recliner, content with sitting all alone.

It didn't last much longer, with Noah rustling Jodie's hair around and her almost nudging him right off the couch in return. "You're such a jackass," she said through her laughter. Noah just grinned, not denying that statement about himself.

A comforting hush fell over us then. I rested my head back on the couch cushion behind me, bringing my legs up to my chest and smiling up at the ceiling. The way my lips just naturally curled up because of the happiness that my friends brought me didn't even occur to me at first. Not until I felt all eyes on me.

"What?" I picked up my head and looked around at my friends.

"Nothing," Jodie smiled now too, being the brave one to speak up, as always. "Just... how you were smiling. It was really nice to see that."

"What do you mean?" I questioned, knitting my brows together. They all glanced at each other, the expressions on their faces indecipherable to me. It felt like I was missing something that was very evident to them, but not to me.

Sadie adjusted herself so she was facing me, a smile similar to Jodie's on her face too. One that looked... sympathetic. Solicitous in a way that wasn't too obvious. The kind of look that showed they were worried about my welfare, and they wanted to assure me that they were here for me.

"I-I mean, it's pretty obvious you weren't yourself for awhile, but it seems like you're okay now," she told me as she put a hand on my knee. I didn't wipe the skeptical look off my face, and I didn't feel comforted by her words or the gesture.

No matter how subtle they tried to be, I could see through the act. I was aware of what they were doing. Jodie and Sadie each said their respective comments for a reason. Their smiles weren't covering anything up.

Brody. It's always about Brody.

"We're not really going to talk about this right now, are we?" I spoke up lowly, which surprised them. Noah was quick to react.

"Well, we avoided talking about it all day, and we figured there might be something you must want to say," he explained with a shrug, then he cocked his head to the side in thought. "Actually, we've avoided talking about it for... months. I don't think we've ever-"

"And don't you think we've put it off for so long for a reason?" I snapped. It came out a lot harsher than I wanted it to, but this topic looming over my head stirred up all my stagnant emotions, and they came out to play without a problem.

Jodie sighed like she was fed up already. "I'm just gonna cut to the chase here. There's no point in beating around the bush," she quickly said. "I guess you haven't tried to talk to Brody again? I know you went to his house but he wasn't there, and you got the mix CD from his mom. That was months ago though, and from the way you're reacting I'm assuming you haven't reached out to him."