Number | seungjin

t w e n t y - t h r e e

Hours of not talking to Hyunjin turned into to days then to weeks. Guilt was a bad look on Seungmin; ruffled hair, bugs under his eyes, chapped lips, a slouch. Although he heard reassurance that it was not his fault, his brain had its ways of finding things entirely out of his control and pointing an accusing finger at him. Never had he felt this heavy, this exhausted with feeling.

"Are you even sleeping?" Jisung had asked him one afternoon, worry laced in his voice that just made Seungmin feel even worse.

"Of course," He had answered. Though it is not entirely true because he had only slept for an hour - the hours of his nights were filled with restless thoughts and possibilities keeping his tired eyes awake. He had seen the doubtful look Jisung shot him but ignored it.

This sucks, He thought while lining up to order a much needed coffee. At around three, he would need to run back at the university for his next class and, looking at his phone, he had an hour remaining. Sighing, he rubbed his nape and closed his eyes.

"Seungmin?"

The voice jolted him awake, irritation started to rise up his throat but died down once he caught a glance of the person.

Changbin.

He was wearing a beanie and a white t-shirt - he looked presentable, the very opposite of Seungmin who had put whatever shirt his hand found, probably something with a stain or something. This made him insecure. Subtly, he slouched more and pushed his shoulders as close as they can get in order to shrink.

"Seo," He said, nodding in acknowledgment, too tired to make a snarky remark. At that, Changbin's eyebrow raised in suspicion and expectation.

"Huh. Guess you're not up for shit today?" The older said, putting himself beside Seungmin without permission - Seungmin let this slide. He remained silent, and after a while of no talking, he could feel the stare Changbin was giving him.

He sighed. "What, Seo? Just spit it out."

"Do you . . .  do you know what happened to Hyunjin?" This made Seungmin's head snapped at his side to look at Changbin and saw that his face was crumpled with worry.

"What?"

"Well, for the past few weeks, he . . . he had been acting different. More irritable, and he seems wary. He looks like shit, dude." Changbin took a deep breath, gently pulling his hand back from fussing with the hem of his shirt - a tick, Seungmin observed. "I'm just asking if you know what happened."

Seungmin was baffled. Whether it was because of him or something else, it was a surprise to hear that Hyunjiin was a mess. He seemed like the type of person to always have his shit together whenever things go down.

Although he pitied the state Hyunjin was in now, a small resentful part of him was glad. Horrified, he pushed that feeling down, disgusted with himself.

He shook his head. "We haven't talk for weeks."

"Wait, what?" So Hyunjin haven't told anyone.

"Yeah," He tried to say nonchalantly, but he could hear the crack in his voice. He winced. "Yeah."

"Wha . . . why?" Changbin had now fully faced Seungmin. Gosh, the line was so long. He stole a glance ahead of them to count the people before them. "Did you guys fight or something?"

"Not exactly . . ." He trailed off, not really sure if he should tell Changbin. Hyunjin might get mad at him. This thought was met with surprising rage.

Why should he care what Hyunjin thinks of feels at this point? It was not only him, it was also Seungmin involved in this matter. It would be his problem if he felt mad or sad or whatever the hell goes on in his mind.